Girrr...Burrr...Dirrr...

(To my roomies reading this, i know i went over-board, as always pardon me ;) )

What if you are super-sensitive to sound? i.e even the sound of a dropping pin on the mosaic floor, barking sound of a dog in a latency of 3 kms would wake up from sleep? and you live in a room with 6 other gentlemen in which 5 snore and 1 farts all night? now that's me.That is my life for nearly two years now.No i am not complaining, im just laughing at god who created me, laughing out loud, laughing out helpless, laughing out insane.There are days when you try hard to sleep and when you feel sleep is nearing you, you start hearing this sound like the sound of a grinding machine, you loose hope on life, your nerves get tighter, your blood flows hot in your veins, you run down to the PC and google for where you can buy unlicensed guns in Chennai, you find that you get it in a corner shop in north madras, you decide to buy it the next day and just blow of all the snoring heads, but the next day comes you wake up hearing the same old noise, you wake up to cry, you wake up to curse and you then google to find out what are the 10 most easy ways of committing a suicide.Now please don laugh, im serious.It is a room where bachelors stay in the morning, and at some magical point in the midnight the place i live in turns into a zoo.I open my eyes to the darkness and I start hearing these sounds, noise of a stranded whale, squealing of a pregnant pig, cawing of a fat dark crow, grump of an injured camel, gobble of a mature male turkey and the howling of a green eyed wolf.I always live with the fear that any time i may become a prey and only my skeleton would remain in the next morning.I am even planning for a night safari in the pathways of my room with an entry rate of 30/per head.Guys lemme know if u r interested, i guarantee for an once in a lifetime experience. I know my limits, ill stop here. :)In a way im getting used to it, how long can you keep worrying for things that is out of your control?.Im planning to do my thesis in snoring, "The sound engineering behind sleeping Indian men" is the title. Wow what a learning it has been for years now, how many varieties we have in a simple snore? from the loud noisy snore which travels across 3 rooms to the vibrator snore which reaches your ears like a drilling machine.The graph patterns that i depicted observing the sounds has led to graphs with sin waves, cos waves and even ocean waves.It is all fine but when you loose sleep over it, hell is not so distant.And the other aversion i have is the aversion to light, i wake up to the sudden glow of a zero watts bulb, I wake up to the glow of the TV screen on my closed eyes.In some nights where i need a lot of time with myself for solace, someone will switch on the creepy television at 4am and hear songs in the tunes of "satti suttathada, kai vittathada".I go helpless guys. And all my otherwise lovely roomies reading this, Im not blaming you guys you people have all the rights to snore after all it is your tongue and your nose.Blame my parents for bringing me up like this, blame god who created me as a naturally sensitive ***hole.Blame me.I cant sleep with sound, i cant sleep when i find a small ray of light intruding the bottom of my door, i cant sleep when the TV keeps running, I cant sleep while people speak, I need a graveyard like silent atmosphere in order to completely sleep at peace.I know i have become a nightmare for most, nobody prefers to sleep near me just cos u guys know i mouth very bad words in your ears when i get irritated, I kick at times to bring you back to normal, at times i even wake up people and say "I have no problems in you snoring hard, but please can you stop snoring like an owl and start snoring like a cuckoo bird?".I know that i have become a pest to most, I know that everybody prays for me to get a wife who snores all night,but please stand in my shoes.Apart from this you guys are the best one can find in the world and I love you guys when you don't make those quirky annoying noises. (im not saying this fearing a mob attack making me run nude in the streets, im sayin this cos i really love you guys :P).And for all those others reading this, my thesis is nearing its conclusion and ill soon give the answers for the age old question.Where does the snore come from? Is it from the nose or the mouth?

keep guessing till then... :)

இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

என் முதல் கவிதை முயற்சி...குழந்தைகள் கூட மழையை முறைத்துக்கொண்டிருந்த-உயிர்ப்பில்லாத ஒரு மாலைப்பொழுதில் எழுதியது ..

இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

இந்த மழைகாலத்தின் கடைசி நாள்.
இருள் கவிந்திருந்த இந்த மாலையில் 
தூறலுடன் பெய்கிறது இறுதி மழை 

காமத்தில் வடிந்த எச்சில் போல் 
காயத்தில் கசிந்த உதிரம்போல் 
கிழவியின் அழுகை போல் 
துர்கனவின் சிறுநீர் போல்  

ரசிக்க ஆளின்றி என்  வீட்டு 
சாக்கடையில் விருப்பமில்லாமல் 
பெய்கிறது - யாவரும் பழகி சலித்த மழை 

வானம் பார்த்துவிட்டு 
வீட்டுக்குள் நான் வந்த நொடியில் 
ஏனோ இறந்தேபோய்விட்டது
இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

 

Still Life

A few nights back I was there in this crowded restaurant near my place, burning with hunger, I ordered my food and waited. Time passed and i got nothing. Restless,I looked around for my waiter. It was a chaotic sight all around, people moving in and out, noise of the speaking voices, waiters rushing with the servings.And finally i found him, the middle aged man who took my orders, he was standing by the other side, he stood there motionless like a saint, i looked him in his eyes , his eyelids made no movement; they were wide open, he was staring at something across the road. It was a little bird standing in the middle of the busy road. It was idle too.My waiter's eyes were fixed on the bird, he seemed to have forgotten himself, it was just the bird and him and nothing else. Not his job, not the chaos, not his family, not his life- nothing. Time stood still for him. I have no words to bring out the essence of the moment. I left him to enjoy the moment, and closed my eyes to interpret its meanings. When i opened my eyes, both the bird and the waiter had left the place. A special moment had ended for the three of us. And chaos was back on track. In a way it is these moments that remind us the real pace of life, however maddening we make it, life moves in its own pace. One tear at a time, one little grin at a time.Incidentally i watched this movie sometime back and all through it kept on reminding me about the real pace of life. "Sanxia Haoren" (2006 Eng- Still life) a Chinese film by the acclaimed director Jia ZhangKe is the story of two people who come in search of their spouses to a city which will soon be disappearing under water.

The movie opens with a ferry travelling across the breathtaking waterways in the city of Fengjie; The place which is soon to be submerged to construct China's largest dam. Inside the crowded ferry in a lonely corner sits Han Sanming a poor coal miner who has come to the place in search of his wife who ran away from him 16 years ago with his infant daughter.He enters the city just to find that his wife is dislocated elsewhere and he has to stay there and wait till her return.He joins the local groups of workmen- slowly demolishing the remaining buildings with hand tools. He roams around in the to-be-empty streets of Fengjie smoking cigarettes and giving himself to the calmness and depression of the town.The movie then cuts to the story of a pretty young nurse Shen Hong who has come to Fengjie in search of her husband who left her two years earlier and never returned. She searches for her husband in the abandoned factories and excavated lands. She finds a friend of her husband and together they try to reconnect with her missing husband. Finally after a long search Shen finds out that her husband has become a successful businessman and also he has found a new woman. Shen who came to reunite with him finally confronts and informs him that there is another man in her life and decides to divorce her wandering husband.Again the film travels with Han Sanming who finally finds his ex-wife to be a bonded laborer and he has to pay 30,000 Yuan to cover the debt and release her.The film ends with a determined Han Sanming leaving Fengjie and walking back to his hometown to work hard and earn enough to save and reunite with his ex-wife.

The movie travels with the two souls who come in search of their loved ones, along with it the movie conveys the story of Fengjie province which has relocated more than a million people to build the massive Three Gorges dam. All the supporting characters who accompany Han and Shen in their journey convey the pain of dislocation from home.And the film is suitably divided into four section namely "Cigarettes","Liquor","Tea", and "Toffee" which accordingly classify the mood of the lead characters.Also there is the presence of some surreal elements such as a UFO and a flying buildings that add to the addiction that the movie creates in us. “Still Life” is a film which wanders throughout, and is narrated by visuals and anecdotes rather than a traditional story line. Cinematography by Yu Lik-wai is the strongest point of the movie. Right from the very first shot the viewer is captivated to the screen, the majestic river covered by dense green mountains and gray clouds which give an artistic touch to every shot conveys the rest which the characters forget to convey in their silence. The film as such is poetically beautiful and presented in a dreamlike narration.It went on to get wide critical acclaim and top honors for best movie at Venice International film festival and many others.

The film as such conveys nothing, with visuals of strange blank spaces and stories of lonely hearts it requires a certain amount of patience to watch. Throughout the film the protagonists keep staring at the life around. They look at the flight of UFO's, demolition of skyscrapers, death of a loved ones, dilapidated town with calmness and with absolute indolence. They are not excited, they take life-one moment at a time, they stare at the stillness of every event happening around them. The stillness of commotion, the stillness of chaos, the stillness of despair, the stillness of life, the stillness of death.The ending sequence shows Han Sanming walking away from the town, just to stop by the sight of a tightrope walker who tries to to travel the distance between two buildings over a rope with just a long stick for balance and the grey clouds forming a mystic background. Han Sanming keeps staring at the view above him and the movie closes with a black screen and a magical score filling in the thoughts and ears.When it ended I was reminded of the sight of the waiter and the little bird. I closed my eyes to interpret the thousand meanings that are always left untold.

To visit my World Cinema series click here..

On a few rainy days...

An old rusted compartment, deep blue window grills, brown rail tracks, green fields with white birds, grey clouds in the distance, the colorless rain water. It was a journey filled with colors. A plenty of them rioting with one other.I looked around to find that the seats were half full. With just one other person for my company I knew it was gonna be a warm journey home. It started raining the moment the train left Egmore till it reached the outskirts of Madurai, it rained all the way.And i was sharing the excitement with all the other faces that i met on the road.The train was traveling into the rain, i had never seen such a long rain all my life. My vision of rain was limited as everybody else. Rain meant a little pond of water in the front yard and a few hanging drops in my window grill. But to see it rain so wide for hundreds of kilometers did change my perceptions a little. Rain is magnificent, Rain is huge, Rain is not the drops which we see from earth but the drops that pour from the sky which we never see. Rain ends its long journey from the heavens at our feet. And we join it at the very last seconds of its living. Rain as such can never be seen with eyes, it can just be felt.

It has stopped raining sometime back, I stood under the little mango tree in the front yard and the last dew drops of the previous rain just drizzled on me. The leaves look fresh with water drops, I touched them and it shivered a little. The world looks like a different place to me, the suns light looks filtered by a silky cloth somewhere in the sky and the place is filled with a pure silver light.People look beautiful than they really are. The faces are filled with a warm smile , void of worries, i wonder rain how has always had that power to evade worries.The room is still asleep, and some kind of joy is hidden in every sleeping eye, I just feel like making the bed by the window, staring at the dark clouds filling the sky, hearing some music for the heart shrinking myself like a kid and dreaming about a better life.I just love the rain, it always inspires me, in its presence im feeling good, im feeling contended, im feeling lucky.

A rainy evening.There is no power at my place and i get to the little sit out of ours to feel the rain of the day. It's raining as it would rain in the hell. Raining like hell, raining like a curse. Its dark everywhere no streetlights no colors. It is raining like the very first rain on earth and i see it right in front of the eye. It's all black white and grey. Shades of them, dark and light, pale and full. The lighting interludes and you see a picture painted for the heavens. It is not joyful as always, at times rain too threatens. It is not kind anymore it tries to fill in the space with noise and fear. The yellow light from the little candle fights with the emptiness of the dark and fails.it paints a sad little story of the fighting candle. Some kind of pain is evoked and you could see it floating and joining the water flowing across the streets.I sit and stare at the candle. I sit. I stare. And it rains with noise and fear.

Sleepless night. I lie motionless on my bed. With closed eyes i keep staring. Staring at god. He stares back and we just avoid each other. I know he is hurt too.It will take time to heal. Why heal? let it not heal when it bleeds.... let it bleed. I open my eyes it is all dark and it is raining at my window. And i hear the rain, i hear it for the first time in my life. Like a thousand guitars playing a wild tune, it rains. I hear the frogs, a hundred of them screeching. I wonder if it is raining at your window or just mine? Why does rain change its mood often, no it doesn't change its mood, it just wears mine. It laughed when i laughed, it cries when i cry, it bursts when i burst, it becomes me. It rains just for me. I close my eyes again. I could hear the orchestra of the wild rain. I live in a closed room. But i could feel the rain breaking the walls and pouring on me. All those drops made in the sky pour on me and it joins the little drops made by my eyes.I get dissolved. I become the rain. I am the rain. And let it rain. And when it all ends ill wake up to see the sun shine at my window. ill wake up to heal, ill wake up to live, ill go out to see the little pond that the rain has made in my front yard, ill go out to feel the freshness the rain brought with it. Ill go out knowing that it rained just for me.

I'm thankful that it rained.

Tagged!

First thanks Anu for tagging me, you awakened me from my slumber.Sorry guys I knew i missed the bus last month, but now Im back!!:), and straight to the tag,

TAG-1 Days of my life

Yesterday

Your oldest memory?
Wow! my oldest memory? hmmm where does it take me. NO i don't remember the days in my mother's womb, nor the day when i spoke the first word or the day when i broke my crawl and walked.I totally forgot my infant days! So where does it take me? hmmm yes it takes me to this day when i was still a kid, pursuing my Lower.Kinder.Garden it was just few days since i joined school, and once it was a sunny afternoon at school i was crying all the time to go back home.I was sitting idle and looking at the empty corridor behind the window, was waiting for the day to end so i can run back home but the day just looked tooo long. And suddenly from nowhere Amma came! I ran to her and hugged her tight, cried lying on her shoulders and pleaded her to take me home. , and in some time we were out of that little jungle that they put me in.I was lying on her lap while the hand rickshaw guy pulled us all the way till home. With the rickshaw taking a bumpy ride around the streets of Madurai i just lied idle on her lap. She cried with me, she consoled me, and i still don't remember when i slept!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
1998. R.Vignesh. VIII 'A'. An innocent school boy who still thought that the world was a safe place to live, i was still on the verge of becoming an adolescent. GOD! life was heaven, getting up in the morning hearing mom's "archanai's", petty fights with R.Arun, riding with dad to school, eating the rotten idli's that mom makes(sorry ma:)), competeing for good ranks @ school(hmmm!), street crickets which lasted forever, watching Marmadesam and Premi, still searching for my sweetheart, loootis in the school bus, sakthimaan and sachin, struggling with maths(4 tat matter always!), riding the BSA SLR and dreaming that i will own a Hercules MTB someday, and thousand other bits'n'pieces... to put it simple 10 years ago i was Living.

Today
Your first thought today morning?

OMG!!!! it is already 6.00. i haven slept yet, so when are these monsters gonna stop snoring?, when am i gonna find a place to sleep in this zoo?when am i really gonna sleep? OMG!! look at my eyes! i look terrible, My first thought this morning uh?back-off, it is not today yet! it is still yesterday, gimme a break. I need to sleep. sleep till the sun sets over my bum :P

If you built a time capsule today what it would contain?
C'mon guys a time capsule?! Wogay Gimme some books, gimme a Macbook and a wireless lan, gimme some choclate chip cookies, gimme a Godfather dvd, gimme an ipod filled with Illayaraja, gimme the girl and gimme the moon. nothing more!

Tomorrow

This year
For all those curious Im still at bench but with a twist, taking trainings in Spring, Hibernate, Struts, JSF, Greek, Latin and Zulu.So in some time ill be into a project working day and nights, breaking the brain(hav 2 find it first!),coding,eating, sleeping.Contrary to popular belief i wish to work like crazy and that phase will start soon. watelse? the year has been one of the best already so i don have any more wishes, awaiting 2009.(hmmm jus days back it was 1986, GOD look at the rate at which time runs)

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
Wat's that 14 years? so it has to be 2022.professional dreams are out of context. So on a personal front I would be 36!! kids in the neighbourhood would be calling me "Vignesh Uncle"(I hate that!).would have met her by then, i would have grown a pot belly and would definitely look uglier ;p. Watching world movies would assist in making me a preemptive frontal baldie(Anu ur happy now?:( ), GOD guys i wanna stop this now...14 years is loooong time from now, anything may happen after 14 long years? adhukkaaga?? Kaamarajar kooda dhaan theruvilakkulapadichaar? Adhukkaaga?Seri, kaamaraajar padikakave ille… so WHAT?

PS: thanks Aravind :), i just stole the kamarajar dialouge of urs, ethum copy-right problem illaye?:)


TAG-2 Wonderful Quotes

The objective of this tag is to make people write 5 wonderful quotes from the books they've read it seems! Good intentions but really tough to implement, it would take me re-read of some 100+ books and some 6+ months to complete the tag. So i modify the Tag to accomplish it within a single book. So the favourite 5 quotes from the last good book that u have read..


The book is - "Tuesdays with Morrie"

1."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

2.“ . . . the big things—how we think, what we value—those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone--or any society—determine those for you.”

3."As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."

4."Love wins. Love always wins."

5."Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Guys im tagging none, take it if u feel like ;).

TN 38 AB 8877

A guest post by my bike!

Hey guys my name is TN 38 AB 8877, I come from the Yamaha RX 135 family. If you are a guy and if u ride bikes then you should have heard about me. I was the heartthrob of men during the 90's. I was the popular figure at the college arena, at the racing circuit and even in films i was with the hero helping him in rescuing the heroine, and chasing and dishooming the baaad-men. I was everywhere, Every man in India wished he could own an Yamaha some day. I was the undisputed king of the biking circuit for more than a decade. Then fate played its game, the government banned me in the year 2005 citing that i caused a lot of pollution.I was one of the last few RX 135's produced in the nation. The truth that i will be the last RX 135 to go out of the factory did hurt me. I left my factory in Pune with pride about my past and dreams about my future and traveled down south to a small showroom in an urban town called Coimbatore.

I was there standing in the showroom, eagerly waiting for the prince who will own me. I wished he came soon and released me from this prison of walls, i wished we both could fly at 120km/hr speeds, i started to dream about him, i couldn't wait to see him. One fine day i was cleaned and dusted, i knew my prince has arrived, they polished me, i was fitted with all my accessories and i looked stunning and macho. And finally he came. :( GOD I wanted to shout "NOOOOOOOOOO!!". He was not my prince he looked like a dumb-ass!! I was crying but no one heard me, he came by my side he touched me and i felt like YUCK! He even kissed me on my tank, i wanted to yell " Hey moron please wash your teeth first and then come near me". But i had no other options, i was forced to move out with him. With this idiot on my back i started my long journey.(I later learnt that this moron did have a name... Vicky @ Vignesh but for me he always remains a moron!!)

Have you ever seen a lion from the jungle, caged at the circus amidst monkeys, now that was my initial days. This guy i suppose had never ridden a bike before and his first stint was with me!!.GOD This was like a kid dating on Mallika sherawat.Initially he did maintain me well, he was too proud owning me. but as time passed by i came to meet the sadist in him, He never washed me, never took me to a good service,never took me to a race track, never put petrol for >20rs, and the most important of all he never made a pretty girl sit on my pillion:(. All that i got was men, men with huge bums, men with tiny bums and even men with smelly bums!!! But not a single girl even once!!!(and that is why i call him a loser, i even doubt he will remain one till the end). Not just that he would frequently lend me to men who looked like the Yes-boss villains of tamil cinema, they were equally shitty, and were no better than my moron boss!. At times this guy even endangered my life, once he ran me over a street dog(Waht a shame!!), i survived with bruises all over me! And this guy escaped unhurt!. the second time looking at a pretty girl and doing cheap stunts he drove me directly into a light-post, my body was disfigured but still he escaped unhurt! Finally he brought me to chennai, God this place is shit!!!Look around the traffic, the people, the dust,the pollution, the huge bellied police man, ahh this place sucks!!. And when i see all these Pulsars and Apaches which project themselves rather than the driver i just feel like inviting them for a goddamn race, my blood would boil to show what is it like to be a Yamaha. But see i am not so gifted :(

So you wonder why i am so cynical with him?? Not that he is tooo bad, i know he loves me, we have spent some great times together, racing out pulsars and unicons, trying to impress girls and getting busted, unforgettable trips to ooty driving at breakneck speeds, we both prefer being the darkhorse, he has refused an offer to sell me even as the buyer was ready to pay more than the cost price!now i too have some soft corner him. But why this? coz I lost my kick-starter a month back, when one of his friends who had a leg like a dinosaur and brain like a chimp kicked me on the wrong angle!!! I was fractured and made to stand at a dusty corner of the portico. For nearly a month this owner-moron has not even cared to take me to a mechanic, i have started to rust! Soon i will become extinct, and little he cares , so guys if u got to read this plz plz ask him to take me for a repair.And also warn him that the next time when he does cheap stunts and drives me into a light post i will make sure that he will fly like a frog in slow-mo and the girls around will laugh at him, and i will get away unhurt. I am damn serious, do warn him.

உன் கடிதம் வராத நாளில்...

"I love Thamizh... i think its the most beautiful language and can express even the slightest and most intricate emotions in a much more better and more beautiful way than English or any other language can ever hope to"

யாருமற்ற இரவு. உன் கடிதம் வராத நாளைத் தொடர்ந்து வரும் ஓர் அடர்த்தியான இரவு.உறக்கம் கொள்ளாத பெட்டை நாய் ஒன்று வீதியில் தனியே ஊளையிட்டு திரியும் ஒரு நள்ளிரவு. நம்மிருவருக்கும் பிடித்த நிலா கூட மேகத்தில் தன்னை மறைத்துக்கொண்ட ஓர் பின்னிரவு. உன் கடிதத்தின் வார்த்தைகளை மெத்தையாக்கி அதில் உறங்கியவன் பஞ்சு மெத்தையின் கணம் தங்காமல் வலியில் விழித்துக்கொண்ட ஓர் இரவு.உன் கடிதம் வராத என்னுடைய நேற்று இன்னும் முடியவில்லை, அது உன்னுடைய நாளைக்குள் பிரவேசித்துக்கொண்டிருகிறது .நேற்றைய முன்னிரவில் முதல் முறை தோன்றிய வலி இன்னும்கூட முகத்தில் தேங்கியுள்ளது. "குரல் சரியில்லையே?" என்று அம்மா கேட்டபோதும், "என்னடா முகம் வாடியிருக்கு?" என்று நண்பர்கள் கேட்டபோதும் சொல்ல என்னிடம் பதிலேதுமில்லை. இன்று வரையில் நான் நம்பியதில்லை வராத உன் கடிதம் எனக்கு இத்தனை வலிதருமென்று. உன் கடிதம் வராத என் நாட்கள் வீண் எனில்? நீ வராத என் வாழ்க்கை என்னவாகும்?

"நமக்குள் இருக்கும் இந்த உறவின் பெயரென்ன?" என்று நீ கேட்டபோது என்னிடம் விடையில்லை!. நான் படித்த புத்தகங்கள், நான் வியந்த சிந்தனைகள், நான் கண்ட உண்மைகள், நான் அறிந்த மொழிகள் என அத்தனையிலும் தேடினேன் எங்கும் எனக்கு பதிலில்லை.இறுதியில் தமிழிடம் என் வலியெல்லாம் கூறி விடை கேட்டேன். சிறிய மௌனத்திற்கு பின் நம்மை வளர்த்த தமிழ், நீ கண்டு வியந்த தமிழ் என்னிடம் சொன்னது "இதன் பெயர் காதல் என்று!" நான் ஏதும் சொல்லவில்லை. மௌனித்திருந்தேன்.காரணங்கள் ஏதும் இன்றி என்னிரு கண்களிலும் சிறு துளிகள் உதிர்ந்தன. அந்த துளிகளின் வெப்பத்தில் நான் அணிய வைத்திருந்த முகமூடிகள் அனைத்தும் வெந்து பொசிந்தன.

இந்த இரவு இன்னும் மிச்சமிருக்கிறது, அந்த ஒற்றை மரத்தின் மேலமரும் சிறு பறவைகளின் பாடல் காற்றை நனைக்கிறது.உடைகளற்ற நிசப்தமான மௌன வெளியில் என் மனம் சஞ்சரிகின்றது. அது நம்மால் பெயரிடப்படாத அந்த உணர்வுகளால் நிரம்புகிறது.என் கண்களில் மேலும் சில துளிகள் உதிர்கின்றன, அவை உதட்டினில் பட்டு இனிக்கின்றன.மேகத்தின் நடுவே நிலவும் கொஞ்சம் எட்டிப்பார்க்கிறது, அது நான் இதுவரை பார்க்காத உன் முகத்தை நினைவுபடுத்துகின்றது.ஒரு நாள், சிறு பறவைகள் சப்திகின்ற இந்த இரவை நாம் இருவரும் அருகில் அமர்ந்து அழகாக்குவோம், அந்த நாளை நோக்கி கொஞ்சம் சீக்கிரம் வாடி.

இப்படிக்கு உன்,
?.

Lost in the woods...

It must have been raining lately, the cold breeze still carries the smell of earth, the soil looks soaked and slippery, my bare foot could feel the earth; those sharp little stones, the dew drops on the grass, the watery soil, I could feel them all. My feet is covered with the dark brown mud looks synonymous with the ground beneath. I decide to take a brief walk into the woods, a walk into the mist, a walk into the fading afternoon, a walk from the farm house to the far end. I come to the end of our farm land and the little corner stone turns into my throne.I look all around and there are no humans in sight, all I could see are little shimmering grass insects nearby, the peacocks stealing grains on the distant lands, and a few rain bearing clouds far above. It has just been a few minutes since I started writing all these. I am writing these on an age old diary filled with few strands of mustard colored paper, I am writing these sitting beneath a lonely tree which still sizzles with the last drops of rain, I am writing these after a few tears and a long gush of silence.

The little piece of farm land on which I am sitting now, and the long stretch of coconut grooves through which I had walked are the last remaining evidences of an age old family heritage.This is the same place that my great grand fathers bought with their hard earned money, this is the same place where my grandma ploughed years back, this is the same place where my mom played games in her childhood, this is the place where my memories are preserved and delivered fresh. Days from a not so distant past start pouring in, the days when my grandpa carried me on his shoulders all the way and spoke stories in my little ears, the day when I finally brought the same grandpa who had by them lost his walk and sight, I still remember the tears he shed hugging a tree, I remember the day when I found the ancient British coin hidden beneath the soil, I remember the evenings in the summer when we chased peacocks, the fearful nights when we changed lanes for the flowing water, the countless coconuts we drank, the snake that we killed, the ripe old man who made sheets out of the coconut leaves, I exactly remember the evening of the red sun when Uncle, Arun(my bro) and I walked hand in hand. A little wind has just blown from the north, the tree has just shed a tiny droplet of water on the paper. I scan the diary. The date on the left reads "April 7", I search for the year and the outer cover reads "Executive diary 1994".A beautiful coincidence, I too was there sometime. I very much belong to the 90's, in a way we all belong to the 90's. We are the 90's people.

The clouds are turning gray, it may rain anytime now, let me move to a safer distance. come walk with me.......A little walk has now taken me to the well, the well which once watered the entire land mass, the well where my uncles had their swimming classes, the well which still holds the last breath of many, the well which has been here for centuries and seen empires rise and fall, the well in which the moon sleeps in the night. I throw a little stone into it and after a long pause i hear the stone hitting the water deep beneath.I hear a sound, the voice of the well, it is mystic, it is like the groan of a long forgotten soul. I am back at the woods amidst the coconut trees. I see a few hundreds of them all lined in a pattern as if they are attending a mass. I remember my mom saying that these were planted in the same year when Arun was born. In a way we are brothers of some kind.We have seen each other grow up from innocence, growing up into complexity.I just lie quiet on the ground between my brothers, it reminds me of the slumber I had in my primitive womb.

The time is half past six, it has already started drizzling, the feeble light is fading in front of the eye, the little stone under the lonely tree is filled with gloom, the place looks serene and eerily poetic, the frogs creep and the peacocks screech, my little heaven is getting ready for the night. I finally reach toward my favorite tree in the entire groove, the one as a result of some infection has this bent trunk like an 'L', the one with the most unique look in the entire lot, the one on which i used to glide and play as a kid, the one which is very close to my heart.I touch him, he responds by shaking the huge leaves, he could sense my presence he knows that there is this friend from the good old times,he feels warm, I lay myself on his shoulders, I become a child again. Just like a cattle tied to the pole, I think we are all tied to our childhood memories we always graze for life near the pole of childhood.I close my eyes, i could feel the ecstasy and at this very moment I don't value wealth coz I know that even a few crores cant match the sweetness of a coconut, I don't fear death coz I know that My best days were already lived.

The lightning suddenly illuminates into the darkness.The long wait is over, it has started raining! The rain is dropping all over me, a few have managed to touch the paper. I am still not sure if I am gonna search for a shelter or if I am gonna get myself drenched. But it feels good to stand here, the rain, the woods, the grass, the lil birds, the soaked feet, i feel like becoming a part of very nature.It feels good, just like reading the very last line of a lovely book.

The rain is getting heavy, I gotta close the diary now. My journal ends here.