Slippers, shoes and socks dumped till the middle of the hall, clothes old and new scattered everywhere, unread newspapers lying all over the floor, cigarette butts at definite intervals, bed which is not done for days, thick layers of dust at all corners of the room, beer bottles lying on the verandah without any shame, pungent smell which dissipates from the lavatory, parotta parcels of the previous week lying untouched on the kitchen floor, spider webs; wide and huge all over the ceiling, a television which yells "Kathala Kannala kuthaatha" at feverish pace, few morons sleeping and mimicking a pregnant pig(read snoring), and a loser at the PC typing about the most un-inhabitable place on earth; The Bachelors nest.It has exactly been 10months, 15days and some 4hours since we moved in, and we are counting our days here. And with all my experience of living with these men, I present to you some Dos and Don'ts in a bachelors nest.(requirement- morons- 8.nos)
As the first case, think before you stay with your college mates coz they know you in and out and they will never let the teenager in you die, even if you wish.And life will remain the same big-boring-party as in college days.
Never reveal your bank balance at any costs, else you have to undergo all the envious looks, the fuming ears, and the burning stomachs, but the truth would be that you will be having just Rs.250 on your account and you will still remain the richest in the room(kastam!!) Also never reveal your payslip if you work for Cts,if you wish to maintain some dignity.
Never watch a cricket match inviting a crowd of friends(40+ppl), and that too if India/Chennai Super kings are in the verge of victory. else the screams will make your neighbors think -"the stout GUY in the bachelors room is giving birth to a twins"
If you are not a sound proof sleeper, and if you prefer silence as in the graves as i do, then it is not advisable to sleep with roommates, else you will endup hearing all kinda noises from loud farts to louder snores, some even get up in the middle of the night and shout "Enna emathitu poiteyedi??".
If you buy a branded shirt, make sure that you destroy the brand tag and the bills, else the shirt will go on a resource sharing mode. If its a Peter England you get it back after a week, if its a Sting you get it back after a month, if its a Van Heusen then you better forget that you bought one.
If you and your friends are the sort of guys who play street cricket, with torn lungis, mouthing poetic words in Tamil, better mislead your neighbors sayin you guys were educated from Adhiparsakthiamman Engineering College, Neyveli and you work for Muthupandi machine works, Porur. Thereby saving the disgrace for your college and your company.
If your friend plans to bring in a relative for a visit, ask him to inform two weeks in advance. Else on D-day he would be greeted with the sight of scantily clad men lying in awkward unathletic positions, thereby the guy you brought will give ("you live with these kinda people??... sigh") looks, that will put your family reputation at stake.
It is always advisable to buy ones inner's in "sangu mark" and "sudarmani" brands, it helps in retaining the identity. If its going to be jockey then there will always be an identity crisis(as all jockeys look the same). And it doesn't look good if two fully grown men fight over the ownership of an underwear.
PS:Dry-humor?!.K let me stop here, i don wanna risk stones and rotten tomatoes, and if you still find the post interesting then lets meet in a sequel