இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

என் முதல் கவிதை முயற்சி...குழந்தைகள் கூட மழையை முறைத்துக்கொண்டிருந்த-உயிர்ப்பில்லாத ஒரு மாலைப்பொழுதில் எழுதியது ..

இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

இந்த மழைகாலத்தின் கடைசி நாள்.
இருள் கவிந்திருந்த இந்த மாலையில் 
தூறலுடன் பெய்கிறது இறுதி மழை 

காமத்தில் வடிந்த எச்சில் போல் 
காயத்தில் கசிந்த உதிரம்போல் 
கிழவியின் அழுகை போல் 
துர்கனவின் சிறுநீர் போல்  

ரசிக்க ஆளின்றி என்  வீட்டு 
சாக்கடையில் விருப்பமில்லாமல் 
பெய்கிறது - யாவரும் பழகி சலித்த மழை 

வானம் பார்த்துவிட்டு 
வீட்டுக்குள் நான் வந்த நொடியில் 
ஏனோ இறந்தேபோய்விட்டது
இந்த மழைக்காலம்.

 

Still Life

A few nights back I was there in this crowded restaurant near my place, burning with hunger, I ordered my food and waited. Time passed and i got nothing. Restless,I looked around for my waiter. It was a chaotic sight all around, people moving in and out, noise of the speaking voices, waiters rushing with the servings.And finally i found him, the middle aged man who took my orders, he was standing by the other side, he stood there motionless like a saint, i looked him in his eyes , his eyelids made no movement; they were wide open, he was staring at something across the road. It was a little bird standing in the middle of the busy road. It was idle too.My waiter's eyes were fixed on the bird, he seemed to have forgotten himself, it was just the bird and him and nothing else. Not his job, not the chaos, not his family, not his life- nothing. Time stood still for him. I have no words to bring out the essence of the moment. I left him to enjoy the moment, and closed my eyes to interpret its meanings. When i opened my eyes, both the bird and the waiter had left the place. A special moment had ended for the three of us. And chaos was back on track. In a way it is these moments that remind us the real pace of life, however maddening we make it, life moves in its own pace. One tear at a time, one little grin at a time.Incidentally i watched this movie sometime back and all through it kept on reminding me about the real pace of life. "Sanxia Haoren" (2006 Eng- Still life) a Chinese film by the acclaimed director Jia ZhangKe is the story of two people who come in search of their spouses to a city which will soon be disappearing under water.

The movie opens with a ferry travelling across the breathtaking waterways in the city of Fengjie; The place which is soon to be submerged to construct China's largest dam. Inside the crowded ferry in a lonely corner sits Han Sanming a poor coal miner who has come to the place in search of his wife who ran away from him 16 years ago with his infant daughter.He enters the city just to find that his wife is dislocated elsewhere and he has to stay there and wait till her return.He joins the local groups of workmen- slowly demolishing the remaining buildings with hand tools. He roams around in the to-be-empty streets of Fengjie smoking cigarettes and giving himself to the calmness and depression of the town.The movie then cuts to the story of a pretty young nurse Shen Hong who has come to Fengjie in search of her husband who left her two years earlier and never returned. She searches for her husband in the abandoned factories and excavated lands. She finds a friend of her husband and together they try to reconnect with her missing husband. Finally after a long search Shen finds out that her husband has become a successful businessman and also he has found a new woman. Shen who came to reunite with him finally confronts and informs him that there is another man in her life and decides to divorce her wandering husband.Again the film travels with Han Sanming who finally finds his ex-wife to be a bonded laborer and he has to pay 30,000 Yuan to cover the debt and release her.The film ends with a determined Han Sanming leaving Fengjie and walking back to his hometown to work hard and earn enough to save and reunite with his ex-wife.

The movie travels with the two souls who come in search of their loved ones, along with it the movie conveys the story of Fengjie province which has relocated more than a million people to build the massive Three Gorges dam. All the supporting characters who accompany Han and Shen in their journey convey the pain of dislocation from home.And the film is suitably divided into four section namely "Cigarettes","Liquor","Tea", and "Toffee" which accordingly classify the mood of the lead characters.Also there is the presence of some surreal elements such as a UFO and a flying buildings that add to the addiction that the movie creates in us. “Still Life” is a film which wanders throughout, and is narrated by visuals and anecdotes rather than a traditional story line. Cinematography by Yu Lik-wai is the strongest point of the movie. Right from the very first shot the viewer is captivated to the screen, the majestic river covered by dense green mountains and gray clouds which give an artistic touch to every shot conveys the rest which the characters forget to convey in their silence. The film as such is poetically beautiful and presented in a dreamlike narration.It went on to get wide critical acclaim and top honors for best movie at Venice International film festival and many others.

The film as such conveys nothing, with visuals of strange blank spaces and stories of lonely hearts it requires a certain amount of patience to watch. Throughout the film the protagonists keep staring at the life around. They look at the flight of UFO's, demolition of skyscrapers, death of a loved ones, dilapidated town with calmness and with absolute indolence. They are not excited, they take life-one moment at a time, they stare at the stillness of every event happening around them. The stillness of commotion, the stillness of chaos, the stillness of despair, the stillness of life, the stillness of death.The ending sequence shows Han Sanming walking away from the town, just to stop by the sight of a tightrope walker who tries to to travel the distance between two buildings over a rope with just a long stick for balance and the grey clouds forming a mystic background. Han Sanming keeps staring at the view above him and the movie closes with a black screen and a magical score filling in the thoughts and ears.When it ended I was reminded of the sight of the waiter and the little bird. I closed my eyes to interpret the thousand meanings that are always left untold.

To visit my World Cinema series click here..

On a few rainy days...

An old rusted compartment, deep blue window grills, brown rail tracks, green fields with white birds, grey clouds in the distance, the colorless rain water. It was a journey filled with colors. A plenty of them rioting with one other.I looked around to find that the seats were half full. With just one other person for my company I knew it was gonna be a warm journey home. It started raining the moment the train left Egmore till it reached the outskirts of Madurai, it rained all the way.And i was sharing the excitement with all the other faces that i met on the road.The train was traveling into the rain, i had never seen such a long rain all my life. My vision of rain was limited as everybody else. Rain meant a little pond of water in the front yard and a few hanging drops in my window grill. But to see it rain so wide for hundreds of kilometers did change my perceptions a little. Rain is magnificent, Rain is huge, Rain is not the drops which we see from earth but the drops that pour from the sky which we never see. Rain ends its long journey from the heavens at our feet. And we join it at the very last seconds of its living. Rain as such can never be seen with eyes, it can just be felt.

It has stopped raining sometime back, I stood under the little mango tree in the front yard and the last dew drops of the previous rain just drizzled on me. The leaves look fresh with water drops, I touched them and it shivered a little. The world looks like a different place to me, the suns light looks filtered by a silky cloth somewhere in the sky and the place is filled with a pure silver light.People look beautiful than they really are. The faces are filled with a warm smile , void of worries, i wonder rain how has always had that power to evade worries.The room is still asleep, and some kind of joy is hidden in every sleeping eye, I just feel like making the bed by the window, staring at the dark clouds filling the sky, hearing some music for the heart shrinking myself like a kid and dreaming about a better life.I just love the rain, it always inspires me, in its presence im feeling good, im feeling contended, im feeling lucky.

A rainy evening.There is no power at my place and i get to the little sit out of ours to feel the rain of the day. It's raining as it would rain in the hell. Raining like hell, raining like a curse. Its dark everywhere no streetlights no colors. It is raining like the very first rain on earth and i see it right in front of the eye. It's all black white and grey. Shades of them, dark and light, pale and full. The lighting interludes and you see a picture painted for the heavens. It is not joyful as always, at times rain too threatens. It is not kind anymore it tries to fill in the space with noise and fear. The yellow light from the little candle fights with the emptiness of the dark and fails.it paints a sad little story of the fighting candle. Some kind of pain is evoked and you could see it floating and joining the water flowing across the streets.I sit and stare at the candle. I sit. I stare. And it rains with noise and fear.

Sleepless night. I lie motionless on my bed. With closed eyes i keep staring. Staring at god. He stares back and we just avoid each other. I know he is hurt too.It will take time to heal. Why heal? let it not heal when it bleeds.... let it bleed. I open my eyes it is all dark and it is raining at my window. And i hear the rain, i hear it for the first time in my life. Like a thousand guitars playing a wild tune, it rains. I hear the frogs, a hundred of them screeching. I wonder if it is raining at your window or just mine? Why does rain change its mood often, no it doesn't change its mood, it just wears mine. It laughed when i laughed, it cries when i cry, it bursts when i burst, it becomes me. It rains just for me. I close my eyes again. I could hear the orchestra of the wild rain. I live in a closed room. But i could feel the rain breaking the walls and pouring on me. All those drops made in the sky pour on me and it joins the little drops made by my eyes.I get dissolved. I become the rain. I am the rain. And let it rain. And when it all ends ill wake up to see the sun shine at my window. ill wake up to heal, ill wake up to live, ill go out to see the little pond that the rain has made in my front yard, ill go out to feel the freshness the rain brought with it. Ill go out knowing that it rained just for me.

I'm thankful that it rained.

Tagged!

First thanks Anu for tagging me, you awakened me from my slumber.Sorry guys I knew i missed the bus last month, but now Im back!!:), and straight to the tag,

TAG-1 Days of my life

Yesterday

Your oldest memory?
Wow! my oldest memory? hmmm where does it take me. NO i don't remember the days in my mother's womb, nor the day when i spoke the first word or the day when i broke my crawl and walked.I totally forgot my infant days! So where does it take me? hmmm yes it takes me to this day when i was still a kid, pursuing my Lower.Kinder.Garden it was just few days since i joined school, and once it was a sunny afternoon at school i was crying all the time to go back home.I was sitting idle and looking at the empty corridor behind the window, was waiting for the day to end so i can run back home but the day just looked tooo long. And suddenly from nowhere Amma came! I ran to her and hugged her tight, cried lying on her shoulders and pleaded her to take me home. , and in some time we were out of that little jungle that they put me in.I was lying on her lap while the hand rickshaw guy pulled us all the way till home. With the rickshaw taking a bumpy ride around the streets of Madurai i just lied idle on her lap. She cried with me, she consoled me, and i still don't remember when i slept!

What were you doing 10 years ago?
1998. R.Vignesh. VIII 'A'. An innocent school boy who still thought that the world was a safe place to live, i was still on the verge of becoming an adolescent. GOD! life was heaven, getting up in the morning hearing mom's "archanai's", petty fights with R.Arun, riding with dad to school, eating the rotten idli's that mom makes(sorry ma:)), competeing for good ranks @ school(hmmm!), street crickets which lasted forever, watching Marmadesam and Premi, still searching for my sweetheart, loootis in the school bus, sakthimaan and sachin, struggling with maths(4 tat matter always!), riding the BSA SLR and dreaming that i will own a Hercules MTB someday, and thousand other bits'n'pieces... to put it simple 10 years ago i was Living.

Today
Your first thought today morning?

OMG!!!! it is already 6.00. i haven slept yet, so when are these monsters gonna stop snoring?, when am i gonna find a place to sleep in this zoo?when am i really gonna sleep? OMG!! look at my eyes! i look terrible, My first thought this morning uh?back-off, it is not today yet! it is still yesterday, gimme a break. I need to sleep. sleep till the sun sets over my bum :P

If you built a time capsule today what it would contain?
C'mon guys a time capsule?! Wogay Gimme some books, gimme a Macbook and a wireless lan, gimme some choclate chip cookies, gimme a Godfather dvd, gimme an ipod filled with Illayaraja, gimme the girl and gimme the moon. nothing more!

Tomorrow

This year
For all those curious Im still at bench but with a twist, taking trainings in Spring, Hibernate, Struts, JSF, Greek, Latin and Zulu.So in some time ill be into a project working day and nights, breaking the brain(hav 2 find it first!),coding,eating, sleeping.Contrary to popular belief i wish to work like crazy and that phase will start soon. watelse? the year has been one of the best already so i don have any more wishes, awaiting 2009.(hmmm jus days back it was 1986, GOD look at the rate at which time runs)

What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?
Wat's that 14 years? so it has to be 2022.professional dreams are out of context. So on a personal front I would be 36!! kids in the neighbourhood would be calling me "Vignesh Uncle"(I hate that!).would have met her by then, i would have grown a pot belly and would definitely look uglier ;p. Watching world movies would assist in making me a preemptive frontal baldie(Anu ur happy now?:( ), GOD guys i wanna stop this now...14 years is loooong time from now, anything may happen after 14 long years? adhukkaaga?? Kaamarajar kooda dhaan theruvilakkulapadichaar? Adhukkaaga?Seri, kaamaraajar padikakave ille… so WHAT?

PS: thanks Aravind :), i just stole the kamarajar dialouge of urs, ethum copy-right problem illaye?:)


TAG-2 Wonderful Quotes

The objective of this tag is to make people write 5 wonderful quotes from the books they've read it seems! Good intentions but really tough to implement, it would take me re-read of some 100+ books and some 6+ months to complete the tag. So i modify the Tag to accomplish it within a single book. So the favourite 5 quotes from the last good book that u have read..


The book is - "Tuesdays with Morrie"

1."The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

2.“ . . . the big things—how we think, what we value—those you must choose yourself. You can’t let anyone--or any society—determine those for you.”

3."As you grow old, you learn more. If you stayed at twenty-two, you'd always be as ignorant as you were at twenty-two. Aging is not just decay, you know. It's growth. It's more than the negative that you're going to die, its also the positive that you understand you're going to die, and that you live a better life because of it."

4."Love wins. Love always wins."

5."Death ends a life, not a relationship."

Guys im tagging none, take it if u feel like ;).

TN 38 AB 8877

A guest post by my bike!

Hey guys my name is TN 38 AB 8877, I come from the Yamaha RX 135 family. If you are a guy and if u ride bikes then you should have heard about me. I was the heartthrob of men during the 90's. I was the popular figure at the college arena, at the racing circuit and even in films i was with the hero helping him in rescuing the heroine, and chasing and dishooming the baaad-men. I was everywhere, Every man in India wished he could own an Yamaha some day. I was the undisputed king of the biking circuit for more than a decade. Then fate played its game, the government banned me in the year 2005 citing that i caused a lot of pollution.I was one of the last few RX 135's produced in the nation. The truth that i will be the last RX 135 to go out of the factory did hurt me. I left my factory in Pune with pride about my past and dreams about my future and traveled down south to a small showroom in an urban town called Coimbatore.

I was there standing in the showroom, eagerly waiting for the prince who will own me. I wished he came soon and released me from this prison of walls, i wished we both could fly at 120km/hr speeds, i started to dream about him, i couldn't wait to see him. One fine day i was cleaned and dusted, i knew my prince has arrived, they polished me, i was fitted with all my accessories and i looked stunning and macho. And finally he came. :( GOD I wanted to shout "NOOOOOOOOOO!!". He was not my prince he looked like a dumb-ass!! I was crying but no one heard me, he came by my side he touched me and i felt like YUCK! He even kissed me on my tank, i wanted to yell " Hey moron please wash your teeth first and then come near me". But i had no other options, i was forced to move out with him. With this idiot on my back i started my long journey.(I later learnt that this moron did have a name... Vicky @ Vignesh but for me he always remains a moron!!)

Have you ever seen a lion from the jungle, caged at the circus amidst monkeys, now that was my initial days. This guy i suppose had never ridden a bike before and his first stint was with me!!.GOD This was like a kid dating on Mallika sherawat.Initially he did maintain me well, he was too proud owning me. but as time passed by i came to meet the sadist in him, He never washed me, never took me to a good service,never took me to a race track, never put petrol for >20rs, and the most important of all he never made a pretty girl sit on my pillion:(. All that i got was men, men with huge bums, men with tiny bums and even men with smelly bums!!! But not a single girl even once!!!(and that is why i call him a loser, i even doubt he will remain one till the end). Not just that he would frequently lend me to men who looked like the Yes-boss villains of tamil cinema, they were equally shitty, and were no better than my moron boss!. At times this guy even endangered my life, once he ran me over a street dog(Waht a shame!!), i survived with bruises all over me! And this guy escaped unhurt!. the second time looking at a pretty girl and doing cheap stunts he drove me directly into a light-post, my body was disfigured but still he escaped unhurt! Finally he brought me to chennai, God this place is shit!!!Look around the traffic, the people, the dust,the pollution, the huge bellied police man, ahh this place sucks!!. And when i see all these Pulsars and Apaches which project themselves rather than the driver i just feel like inviting them for a goddamn race, my blood would boil to show what is it like to be a Yamaha. But see i am not so gifted :(

So you wonder why i am so cynical with him?? Not that he is tooo bad, i know he loves me, we have spent some great times together, racing out pulsars and unicons, trying to impress girls and getting busted, unforgettable trips to ooty driving at breakneck speeds, we both prefer being the darkhorse, he has refused an offer to sell me even as the buyer was ready to pay more than the cost price!now i too have some soft corner him. But why this? coz I lost my kick-starter a month back, when one of his friends who had a leg like a dinosaur and brain like a chimp kicked me on the wrong angle!!! I was fractured and made to stand at a dusty corner of the portico. For nearly a month this owner-moron has not even cared to take me to a mechanic, i have started to rust! Soon i will become extinct, and little he cares , so guys if u got to read this plz plz ask him to take me for a repair.And also warn him that the next time when he does cheap stunts and drives me into a light post i will make sure that he will fly like a frog in slow-mo and the girls around will laugh at him, and i will get away unhurt. I am damn serious, do warn him.

உன் கடிதம் வராத நாளில்...

"I love Thamizh... i think its the most beautiful language and can express even the slightest and most intricate emotions in a much more better and more beautiful way than English or any other language can ever hope to"

யாருமற்ற இரவு. உன் கடிதம் வராத நாளைத் தொடர்ந்து வரும் ஓர் அடர்த்தியான இரவு.உறக்கம் கொள்ளாத பெட்டை நாய் ஒன்று வீதியில் தனியே ஊளையிட்டு திரியும் ஒரு நள்ளிரவு. நம்மிருவருக்கும் பிடித்த நிலா கூட மேகத்தில் தன்னை மறைத்துக்கொண்ட ஓர் பின்னிரவு. உன் கடிதத்தின் வார்த்தைகளை மெத்தையாக்கி அதில் உறங்கியவன் பஞ்சு மெத்தையின் கணம் தங்காமல் வலியில் விழித்துக்கொண்ட ஓர் இரவு.உன் கடிதம் வராத என்னுடைய நேற்று இன்னும் முடியவில்லை, அது உன்னுடைய நாளைக்குள் பிரவேசித்துக்கொண்டிருகிறது .நேற்றைய முன்னிரவில் முதல் முறை தோன்றிய வலி இன்னும்கூட முகத்தில் தேங்கியுள்ளது. "குரல் சரியில்லையே?" என்று அம்மா கேட்டபோதும், "என்னடா முகம் வாடியிருக்கு?" என்று நண்பர்கள் கேட்டபோதும் சொல்ல என்னிடம் பதிலேதுமில்லை. இன்று வரையில் நான் நம்பியதில்லை வராத உன் கடிதம் எனக்கு இத்தனை வலிதருமென்று. உன் கடிதம் வராத என் நாட்கள் வீண் எனில்? நீ வராத என் வாழ்க்கை என்னவாகும்?

"நமக்குள் இருக்கும் இந்த உறவின் பெயரென்ன?" என்று நீ கேட்டபோது என்னிடம் விடையில்லை!. நான் படித்த புத்தகங்கள், நான் வியந்த சிந்தனைகள், நான் கண்ட உண்மைகள், நான் அறிந்த மொழிகள் என அத்தனையிலும் தேடினேன் எங்கும் எனக்கு பதிலில்லை.இறுதியில் தமிழிடம் என் வலியெல்லாம் கூறி விடை கேட்டேன். சிறிய மௌனத்திற்கு பின் நம்மை வளர்த்த தமிழ், நீ கண்டு வியந்த தமிழ் என்னிடம் சொன்னது "இதன் பெயர் காதல் என்று!" நான் ஏதும் சொல்லவில்லை. மௌனித்திருந்தேன்.காரணங்கள் ஏதும் இன்றி என்னிரு கண்களிலும் சிறு துளிகள் உதிர்ந்தன. அந்த துளிகளின் வெப்பத்தில் நான் அணிய வைத்திருந்த முகமூடிகள் அனைத்தும் வெந்து பொசிந்தன.

இந்த இரவு இன்னும் மிச்சமிருக்கிறது, அந்த ஒற்றை மரத்தின் மேலமரும் சிறு பறவைகளின் பாடல் காற்றை நனைக்கிறது.உடைகளற்ற நிசப்தமான மௌன வெளியில் என் மனம் சஞ்சரிகின்றது. அது நம்மால் பெயரிடப்படாத அந்த உணர்வுகளால் நிரம்புகிறது.என் கண்களில் மேலும் சில துளிகள் உதிர்கின்றன, அவை உதட்டினில் பட்டு இனிக்கின்றன.மேகத்தின் நடுவே நிலவும் கொஞ்சம் எட்டிப்பார்க்கிறது, அது நான் இதுவரை பார்க்காத உன் முகத்தை நினைவுபடுத்துகின்றது.ஒரு நாள், சிறு பறவைகள் சப்திகின்ற இந்த இரவை நாம் இருவரும் அருகில் அமர்ந்து அழகாக்குவோம், அந்த நாளை நோக்கி கொஞ்சம் சீக்கிரம் வாடி.

இப்படிக்கு உன்,
?.

Lost in the woods...

It must have been raining lately, the cold breeze still carries the smell of earth, the soil looks soaked and slippery, my bare foot could feel the earth; those sharp little stones, the dew drops on the grass, the watery soil, I could feel them all. My feet is covered with the dark brown mud looks synonymous with the ground beneath. I decide to take a brief walk into the woods, a walk into the mist, a walk into the fading afternoon, a walk from the farm house to the far end. I come to the end of our farm land and the little corner stone turns into my throne.I look all around and there are no humans in sight, all I could see are little shimmering grass insects nearby, the peacocks stealing grains on the distant lands, and a few rain bearing clouds far above. It has just been a few minutes since I started writing all these. I am writing these on an age old diary filled with few strands of mustard colored paper, I am writing these sitting beneath a lonely tree which still sizzles with the last drops of rain, I am writing these after a few tears and a long gush of silence.

The little piece of farm land on which I am sitting now, and the long stretch of coconut grooves through which I had walked are the last remaining evidences of an age old family heritage.This is the same place that my great grand fathers bought with their hard earned money, this is the same place where my grandma ploughed years back, this is the same place where my mom played games in her childhood, this is the place where my memories are preserved and delivered fresh. Days from a not so distant past start pouring in, the days when my grandpa carried me on his shoulders all the way and spoke stories in my little ears, the day when I finally brought the same grandpa who had by them lost his walk and sight, I still remember the tears he shed hugging a tree, I remember the day when I found the ancient British coin hidden beneath the soil, I remember the evenings in the summer when we chased peacocks, the fearful nights when we changed lanes for the flowing water, the countless coconuts we drank, the snake that we killed, the ripe old man who made sheets out of the coconut leaves, I exactly remember the evening of the red sun when Uncle, Arun(my bro) and I walked hand in hand. A little wind has just blown from the north, the tree has just shed a tiny droplet of water on the paper. I scan the diary. The date on the left reads "April 7", I search for the year and the outer cover reads "Executive diary 1994".A beautiful coincidence, I too was there sometime. I very much belong to the 90's, in a way we all belong to the 90's. We are the 90's people.

The clouds are turning gray, it may rain anytime now, let me move to a safer distance. come walk with me.......A little walk has now taken me to the well, the well which once watered the entire land mass, the well where my uncles had their swimming classes, the well which still holds the last breath of many, the well which has been here for centuries and seen empires rise and fall, the well in which the moon sleeps in the night. I throw a little stone into it and after a long pause i hear the stone hitting the water deep beneath.I hear a sound, the voice of the well, it is mystic, it is like the groan of a long forgotten soul. I am back at the woods amidst the coconut trees. I see a few hundreds of them all lined in a pattern as if they are attending a mass. I remember my mom saying that these were planted in the same year when Arun was born. In a way we are brothers of some kind.We have seen each other grow up from innocence, growing up into complexity.I just lie quiet on the ground between my brothers, it reminds me of the slumber I had in my primitive womb.

The time is half past six, it has already started drizzling, the feeble light is fading in front of the eye, the little stone under the lonely tree is filled with gloom, the place looks serene and eerily poetic, the frogs creep and the peacocks screech, my little heaven is getting ready for the night. I finally reach toward my favorite tree in the entire groove, the one as a result of some infection has this bent trunk like an 'L', the one with the most unique look in the entire lot, the one on which i used to glide and play as a kid, the one which is very close to my heart.I touch him, he responds by shaking the huge leaves, he could sense my presence he knows that there is this friend from the good old times,he feels warm, I lay myself on his shoulders, I become a child again. Just like a cattle tied to the pole, I think we are all tied to our childhood memories we always graze for life near the pole of childhood.I close my eyes, i could feel the ecstasy and at this very moment I don't value wealth coz I know that even a few crores cant match the sweetness of a coconut, I don't fear death coz I know that My best days were already lived.

The lightning suddenly illuminates into the darkness.The long wait is over, it has started raining! The rain is dropping all over me, a few have managed to touch the paper. I am still not sure if I am gonna search for a shelter or if I am gonna get myself drenched. But it feels good to stand here, the rain, the woods, the grass, the lil birds, the soaked feet, i feel like becoming a part of very nature.It feels good, just like reading the very last line of a lovely book.

The rain is getting heavy, I gotta close the diary now. My journal ends here.

Heaven, Inc.

U guessed it right this is a Nightwatchman! and to know what a nightwatchman does in ma blog read this

By popular request(!) uploading a short film that we made in college days. Heaven, Inc. a.k.a "I had a dream last night" was one of the most ambitious project of ours(yes better than all the Java and .Net projects that we had done in college!).It was a movie made by a bunch of young men who roamed around with no real plans, when life was too boring they decided to make this so called short film titled Heaven.Inc.Adapted from a short story of mine(ahem..) it did turn a few eyebrows @ college. Now years later it looks a bit kiddish, but for a bunch of techies like us and at an Engg college level this looks like a decent attempt.No more ranting or blowing trumpets:).. You better play the film and decide it for yourself!Umesh if you are reading this, thanks for the voice:), I am still reminded of the fun we had during the making.

(Disclaimer: 1.The movie does have some clippings "copied and pasted" from popular Hollywood flicks don't be amused if you find it, no points for you!!, and 2.there is this guy called Vignesh(find me first!) starring in the movie so it is not advisable to watch with elder people or kids by your side.3.Don't get carried away by the build-up, watch it after you zero your expectations 4.Audio output is low, plz increase your speaker volume)

Plot summary

Circa.2005 A.D, the world is suffering, the unthinkable is happening, abnormality is setting in, Tsunami was just days back, the Arctic ice-belt was seen melting at dangerous proportions, heavy rains have made normal life an impossible task. Nature has unleashed all her forces which question the very existence of mankind.So Why are we suffering? why is the world becoming too dangerous to survive? the answers are not very far...Watch it for yourself,

continues here..

Thanks for your time, and if you need an autograph please form a queue. Jus kidding.

The movie just proposes a conspiracy theory! Y cant it be true? so did u like it??

UZAK

Loneliness. My loneliness is where i take refuge. My loneliness is where i seclude myself from all the chaos. My loneliness is where i reinvent the process of living. My loneliness is my greatest boon, I love being a loner, but there is always the other me. The other one who balances the loner, the one deals with the chaos, the one who just lives. Whenever I get into the mighty web of loneliness I always know that sometime when i come out of it, life will be waiting for me, there will be people eager to speak and shed love, then I kill the loner for a while and I become a social animal like the rest of us. But what if someday I am trapped in my web of loneliness and there is no way out? What if my loneliness turns out into my greatest curse? what if I become the only one in my world? what if the mask becomes my face? NO. I cant even think about it!. Socially induced loneliness sucks out the very essence from living. Each of us are have a book the book called life and there are some pages that we always prefer to skip. Those pages filled with the deepest and unexplored emotions. I read them today, A movie made me read it. UZAK(2003) a Turkish film by Nuri Bilge Ceylan contains excerpts of hidden pages from the book called life. It deals with the lives of two lonesome men who are forced into the cavities of a painfully isolated existence.

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Yusuf comes to the city from the country side. The factory has failed in his village and he has no means to earn. He foolishly believes that he can find a high paying job in the city at the shipping yard and save his family from the cruel hands of poverty. He comes to Istanbul on a bleakly winter day in search of his distant cousin who is now a well-of photographer. Mahmut the cousin is a lonely man, he is divorced from his wife and lives all alone in his apartment. He has no friends or he doesn't have an active social life. He gets on with hookers, smokes, drinks and photographs the dusky beauty of Turkey. The two men slowly become isolated companions of the house.As days pass by Mahmut begins to loathe his cousin, berating him for everything from failing to flush the toilet to the smell of his cheap cigarettes, he feels that Yusuf is disturbing his privacy and gradually grows furious at the disorder that has come into his life. As the "for a few days" job search extends for weeks, Mahmut gets annoyed at Yusuf's presence. Meanwhile Yusufs job search doesn't turn fruit full, he is deeply hurt, he knows that he has become an unwanted guest but he has no choices, he roams around smoking cheap cigarettes. Both men start living a distant life in the same room, they are unable to connect with themselves and with the society. They smoke, they wander, they live in a vacuum.When things get worse in Mahmut's personal life they enter into a shabby confront which makes Yusuf leave the house without informing his cousin. The movie ends with Mahmut being seen sitting on a bench in a gray, cold day, smoking the leftover cigarette cheap of Yusuf and the deep silence on screen gives a number of meanings, one of which is Muhmut finally is disturbed as he has lost the only companion in live, with no one even to annoy him, he has finally become the same old loner which he was before.

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The two men in their own way portray the pain of being lonesome and helpless. In the eyes of Yusuf we could sense the sufferings undergone by all unemployed men, who are pushed into the verge of rejection, who remain defenseless to the abusive attacks of the society, who long for love and who are always ignored by women. The pain he undergoes when he gets rejected by women and the complex that he develops over it are disturbing. And Mahmut remains as a deep physiological study of what happens to a man who is exhausted by life.The cinematography is a strong point, handled by Ceylan himself it portrays the disturbing beauty of the grey snow. Winter which makes us confine in our homes is aptly chosen as the theme. Silence is the language of the film. With some deeply moving performances, an efficient screenplay and a disturbing camera work UZAK can be one of the most important films of the decade.

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Let me end up by narrating what i feel the most disturbing and defining moment of the film "In a scene after Yusuf goes to bed, Mahmut closes the door and secretly decides to watch porn, with the fear that Yusuf may enter the room at any moment, his eyes are reluctantly fixed on the closed door, on the other side behind the closed door Yusuf secretly uses Mahmuts phone to converse with his sick mom, but his eyes are fixed on the closed door fearing Mahmut". Both men hold their secrets behind the closed door.Hence the closed door symbolically defines the dual faces that people portray to each other.The behavior in the absence. The "real" person can always be found behind the door. What is behind our doors remains as the most kept secret.Hence this movie which is an ordinary story of ordinary people asks us a question, which we always prefer to parry, which in deeper thought becomes a nightmare for many, but the question remains. What does it mean to be really alone? How does it look like?

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To explore more details please visit

Trailer-UZAK

Ceylan official site.

The Bachelors nest - II

let me finish off with this,

You may be the sort of guy who reads mostly Douglas Adams and hears only Amy Winehouse or Pink Floyd. You may be the hippest guy in town, but never dare to address your rommies as "hey dude" or "buddy", it is like calling them as M**F** or A*H*. Stick to your roots. Remember: Acquaintances are "dudes" but real friends are always mamas and machans.(pudhiya thatuvam 2054, note-pannungada!!)

Whatever the stakes maybe never ever bring your most beloved bike and PC to a room which is a host for 8 another dummies. Plz don ask me why! but never ever bring em, no guys i am not crying, really I AM NOT CRYING.

However tempting it maybe, never try to over hear a phone con. between your roomie and his GF. Better watch Veerasami for the umpteenth time. Believe me nothing can be more boring than that, no not even Harman Baweja's face. A sample piece- evanga- hey ennapanra, avanga-nee sollu, evenga- nee first sollu, ....after some 35mins avanga-nee sollu, evenga- nee first sollu (Add maane, thene, ponmaane inbetween).... why blood?, same blood.

You may buy copies of Businesstoday, outlook, or even a cosmopolitan. But vannathirai will be the most sought after and will win hands down.

Regarding boozing. The amount of beer in-taken by a person will be inversely proportional to his annoyance quotient, and directly proportional to the number of omlets that he mouths(Che!!). And also the more serious that one behaves after a booze the more he looks like a joker.

Planning doesn go well with bachelorhood. The more you plan of going for a treat of your roomies @ Le'royal meridian the more are the chances that you will end up eating the same old parotta in the same old rottu-kada(street-shop). The more you expect it to be a peaceful night the more are the chances that you will endup in mayajaal watching good-for-nothing flicks. When you are a bachelor life just happens.

It is not advisable to discuss issues of national importance such as Ajith-a?-Vijay-a?, why dasavatharam sucks, in the company of 8 other guys, Coz mere words, will lead to ego clashes and end-up in bloodshed and destroying the property of most annoying mammal on earth(read our house owner). under such circumstances a single question can bring silence and make people disperse , Should India really sign the nuclear proliferation treaty?

Your roomie is a S/W engineer and you see him sayin in chaste and local tamil "Dey mappi, vakkali Project manager kadiya podranda, Sotta k** avana..." suddenly he gets a call, in a jiffy he shifts to his American English "hey dude, wazzup man, i was jus nou discussion bout dat..". Plz don be amazed. S/W engineers are reptiles of some kind.

here we come to the end of draft-2, i haven written all, and if you have somethin to add about bachelor life please feel free. These may seem like hardships, but they arent. The carelessness and restlessness are very much a part of bachelor life, and if you can put friendship before everything else then these are just noteworthy happenings!. And if you are my roommate reading this then "Macha, sorry if I made ourselves look like a bunch of losers, it was not intentional, it was written for the sake of those in the blog-o-sphere who read whatever crap I write, I love you all, long live THE GODZ".

PS:But why suddenly a post on bachelor life?? coz this may be the last week of my bachelor life with my bunch of favorite dummies. (No speculations, I am not getting married, i was just born 22 yrs ago, this may be the last week coz i am trying 4 a transfer!!)

The Bachelors nest

Slippers, shoes and socks dumped till the middle of the hall, clothes old and new scattered everywhere, unread newspapers lying all over the floor, cigarette butts at definite intervals, bed which is not done for days, thick layers of dust at all corners of the room, beer bottles lying on the verandah without any shame, pungent smell which dissipates from the lavatory, parotta parcels of the previous week lying untouched on the kitchen floor, spider webs; wide and huge all over the ceiling, a television which yells "Kathala Kannala kuthaatha" at feverish pace, few morons sleeping and mimicking a pregnant pig(read snoring), and a loser at the PC typing about the most un-inhabitable place on earth; The Bachelors nest.It has exactly been 10months, 15days and some 4hours since we moved in, and we are counting our days here. And with all my experience of living with these men, I present to you some Dos and Don'ts in a bachelors nest.(requirement- morons- 8.nos)

As the first case, think before you stay with your college mates coz they know you in and out and they will never let the teenager in you die, even if you wish.And life will remain the same big-boring-party as in college days.

Never reveal your bank balance at any costs, else you have to undergo all the envious looks, the fuming ears, and the burning stomachs, but the truth would be that you will be having just Rs.250 on your account and you will still remain the richest in the room(kastam!!) Also never reveal your payslip if you work for Cts,if you wish to maintain some dignity.

Never watch a cricket match inviting a crowd of friends(40+ppl), and that too if India/Chennai Super kings are in the verge of victory. else the screams will make your neighbors think -"the stout GUY in the bachelors room is giving birth to a twins"

If you are not a sound proof sleeper, and if you prefer silence as in the graves as i do, then it is not advisable to sleep with roommates, else you will endup hearing all kinda noises from loud farts to louder snores, some even get up in the middle of the night and shout "Enna emathitu poiteyedi??".

If you buy a branded shirt, make sure that you destroy the brand tag and the bills, else the shirt will go on a resource sharing mode. If its a Peter England you get it back after a week, if its a Sting you get it back after a month, if its a Van Heusen then you better forget that you bought one.

If you and your friends are the sort of guys who play street cricket, with torn lungis, mouthing poetic words in Tamil, better mislead your neighbors sayin you guys were educated from Adhiparsakthiamman Engineering College, Neyveli and you work for Muthupandi machine works, Porur. Thereby saving the disgrace for your college and your company.

If your friend plans to bring in a relative for a visit, ask him to inform two weeks in advance. Else on D-day he would be greeted with the sight of scantily clad men lying in awkward unathletic positions, thereby the guy you brought will give ("you live with these kinda people??... sigh") looks, that will put your family reputation at stake.

It is always advisable to buy ones inner's in "sangu mark" and "sudarmani" brands, it helps in retaining the identity. If its going to be jockey then there will always be an identity crisis(as all jockeys look the same). And it doesn't look good if two fully grown men fight over the ownership of an underwear.

PS:Dry-humor?!.K let me stop here, i don wanna risk stones and rotten tomatoes, and if you still find the post interesting then lets meet in a sequel

Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter and Spring

Now what does these seasons remind us? Spring reminds me of the blossoming beauty of mother nature, Summer remains be about a lonely village street and some somber moments of life, the falling autumn leaves remind me about the philosophies of life and death , and winter reminds me about a child's grin, joy and festivity. Together they remind me a beautiful phrase from a long forgotten poem. Kim Ki-Duk's 2004 movie and his masterpiece Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter... and Spring (Korean- Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom) reminded me of something else, that if all worlds a stage in which we act, then these seasons are the backdrops that mother nature keeps changing.Accompanying us throughout the drama called the cycle of life. Spring, Summer.. is a a simple. spiritual, spellbinding tale about growing up from innocence to sagacity.The five seasons in the title depict the different stages in the life of a Buddhist monk, implicitly referring to all lives of humanity.

The season is Spring and the place is filled with the sight of blossoming flowers and dense green vegetation.The screen opens to a small, floating Buddhist monastery, in the waters on a isolated lake surrounded by nothing but serene forested mountains. We are introduced to the two main characters, an old Buddhist monk and his young apprentice. The young boy who is nearly 8-10 years old is is learning the ways of Buddhism. Their lives are filled with prayer,mediation and total surrender to god, far away from the cries and desires of humanity. On an unusual day the master observes the kid torturing a fish, frog and a snake by tying heavy stones to their heads. The next morning the master ties a heavy stone to the kids back and offers to remove them only when the kid frees all the tortured animals from their burden, and also hints that if any of the animal dies of pain then he has to "carry the stone in his heart forever". To the kids dismay the snake and the fish die out of pain. the spring season ends with the huge cry of the kid upon seeing what he has done to the snake, thereby learning an incredible lesson to shed love on all beings.

The season is Summer and the air is filled with the warmth and clarity of the sun.The young kid is now a charming young Buddhist monk in his late teens.When a sick and lovely teenage girl arrives at the monastery for treatment, young monk is experiencing a first-crush, a race in his hormones. For the first time he has encountered the outside world , and he wants to taste it. Soon their age makes them vulnerable and he falls prey to his emotions. The two fall in love and have sex, a number of times.When the master finds their out their act, he advises the young monk that lust leads to desire, and desire opens door to more sinister impulses. And asks the girl to leave. The young monk who is not able to bear her departure abandons the master land eaves the monastery in search of her and the "real world". The summer ends with the departure of the young monk who is ought to learn some harsh lessons from the real world.

The season is Autumn and the place is filled with the beautifully colored leaves and the shedding trees.The old monk remains as the sole occupant of the monastery. the young monk who left years back returns to the monastery. We learn that he is now a wanted fugitive in the hands of the law for killing his wife for infidelity(the same girl whom he fell in love with). He seems to be tortured by the hands of the "real" life. He has lost the charm of a boy and that of a monk, he is now filled with rage and anger. He tries to kill himself, and when the master discovers it, he beats him ruthlessly orders him to carve ancient symbols on the monastery deck. The wood carving acts as a treatment for the raged mind, he sheds out all the anger in his mind by ruthlessly carving symbols using the stained knife, peace settles in him. And finally detectives arrive and arrest him for the crime. After a "final" goodbye with the master the young monks leaves for prison.Autumn ends with the master knowing his end and performing a suicide ritual, and meditates as he is suffocated and burned to death.

The season is Winter and it has frozen the lake with Ice, the mystic winter and the moody clouds fill up the air.The young monk who left for prison now returns as a middle age adult monk. he soon finds that the master has left, leaving behind the monastery and his position for his apprentice to occupy. The adult monk gets through all the ancient journals and prepares himself physically and mentally. Soon a woman with her face wrapped with a shall arrives there with an infant boy. She abandons her baby to the monk and tries to flee in the middle of the night, but drowns and dies in the middle of the frozen lake. When the monk uncovers her face, he finds something deeply disturbing or enlightening and it makes him tie the old rock to his back and climb the nearest peak. He undergoes huge amount of pain and torture as he climbs.He erects a Buddha statue on the peak. And finally the winter comes to an end with the monk trenchantly meditating on the summit.

when again as the Spring returns, we find the same floating Buddhist monastery amidst the sight of blossoming flowers and dense green vegetation.The adult monk is the new master and the abandoned boy is the new apprentice,the cycle continues, with new people getting the same old roles thereby hinting the viewers that it shall go on for years. In his turn the kid is found torturing a fish, frog and a snake by forcing stones into their mouth. He is happy to see them suffer in pain, just like his predecessor(the new master) was. And finally spring comes to an end with the sight of the Buddha statue nonchalantly observing the happenings from the peak.


As the film ended i was tied to my seat, it looked like i was in deep meditation for the past two hours. An intriguing experience which we rarely experience in cinema, transporting me to a different reality altogether. The way the cinema portrays the beauty of various seasons will stay in ones mind for long time. Mutability of life and the desire for inner peace which the film portrays have universal implications. It is a magical fable which conveys Buddhist philosophies in the most spiritual and persuasive form. With very minimal dialouges , the calmness of the movie intrigues deep into the viewer. The usage of Buddhist chants add to the ambiance that the movie has created. And the night when we were done with the movie, we found a frog in the closet. My usual reaction would be- just flush it out, but i just couldn't say that. I felt something deeply moving, and we decided not to disturb and to let it be. I didn't want to carry a stone in the heart for the rest of my life.The frog was saved, and for sure a lesson was learned. I could feel the tiny ripples that the movies has created within me, I was humbled .And that is what they call the power of good cinema.

Do check the comments, for some interesting counter views and discussion about regional movies by Raj.

For more info visit
Spring, Summer - Trailer
Kim Ki-Duk

S.Ramakrishnan

Can a book change lives? Can an author alter all the perceptions that you had on living? Can a few printed words induce changes deep down inside your soul? Can reading someone turnout to be the most cherished moment of your life? Can a book transform you into a different entity altogether? It was some five or six years back, I was then a small time reader, reading mostly cheap English fiction.Back then I read to keep me entertained, I read for the thrills it gave me, I read to satisfy the hormones that disturbed my pineal glands. I would have easily become yet another representative of this modern generation. A generation which takes pride in reading Jefferey Archer and John Grisham. A generation which is more than happy to fill its bookshelves with Robert Ludlum and Sidney Sheldon. A Generation which is unaware of the existence of Jeyakanthan and Asokamithran. A generation which reads only in English. A generation of mere Fakers. But then there came S.Ramakrishnan(S.Ra).

It all started on a sleepless night, jobless, bored; i was looking for something to read. And ended up with an literary essay by S.Ra in Anandha Vikatan titled Thunai Ezhuthu(துணை எழுத்து ). I wasn't too eager to read it. Maybe i found it to be too serious for my tastes or maybe i feared that i can never understand such serious writing. But somehow i started reading it, and suddenly all heavens broke loose. I was losing my conscience and was traveling into a magical world created by his words. It was like reading something that the my inner soul has always tried to convey . It was like all my philosophies were acquiring a printed form. It made me visualize the world just like the way my mystical third eye had perceived it. This is no exaggeration, i went speechless. The same night i went through the archieves finding all the essays from previous issues. I read them all. I read till dawn, and soon i could sense the difference that the words had made in me. A change was underway, a change that would introduce me into serious reading, a change that would make me go in search of my roots in Tamil literature, a change that will alter my preferences forever, a change that will make the name S.Ra sound like a chant.

What is Thunai Ezhuthu about? It is collection of essays in Tamil, in which the author speaks about human lives, that he has witnessed till date as an onlooker. He writes about his experiences with life, as a wanderer, as an observer, as a kid, as someones friend, as a scholar, as a dreamer and as a normal human like the rest of us.He writes about incidents that we all face, but in a way that we have never perceived them. He brings in front the truths and hidden emotions that we would have failed to notice.He applies magical realism to normal life and brings out something very unique and special. He makes words flow like a whisper down the ear, silent and mesmerizing. Intense words written vividly to capture the senses and the soul together. Stories about ordinary lives and their plight for surviving the complexities are narrated like epics. Like a spiritual guru S.Ra teaches philosophies about living. lessons that you could take with you for a long and unending journey of life. I know people who carry around Thunai Ezhuthu just as Bible and Qur'an , it makes wonders in peoples lives. It made one in mine.

My opinions on life started to differ, maybe for the first time i started to have opinions on living. Reading was no more a pass time, it soon became one of the very reasons of my existence. I ventured into unexplored teritories, i lost the fear that i had for literature. I read S.Ra till the last drop. He introduced me to Jayakanthan, Jeyamohan, Sundara.Ramasamy and all other men who served the echelons of Tamil writing. He made me understand Rushdie and McEvan in better sense. When I then saw cinemas from around the globe i was able to relate with the humanity that it portrayed. My search for life grew bigger. I started to look out for life in everything i that I sensed. He made profound impacts on my thoughts, and in whatever i write or do I could find his influence all along. S.Ra words filled me with something that i have been missing all these years. His philosophies became my tenets for living and a more sensible human being was born out of me.Hence there is definitely a book out there which can change your life and alter all your perceptions .It lies somewhere, in the undusted shelves of a bookstore very near to your proximity.All you got to do is find it.... before its too late!


I would be really happy if the book was to be Thunai Ezhuthu. And to know more about Ramakrishnan and his works visit ::http://www.sramakrishnan.com/::

Chicks, mails, brokers and dilbert

Everyone rambles, so do I..

1) I don’t remember when was the last time I laughed watching a movie. I mean i was not into those "feel-good" movies for a long time. All I watch is crude stuff (read serious movies which move at the pace of live), and there is no comedy or feel good tag attached to those movies. My roommates say that its real fun watching me when i am into movies, I believe I look like a P.Chidambaram staring at the inflation index, or like someone who has just lost his wife (do ppl really worry for that?? ). Cant help it though!!, those are movies for the thinking man.(ahem..) And seriously I wish some day my roommates (8 of em) watch some Iranian, Mexican movies in my collection. Esp. I hate this guy(read Mr. Singapore) when he downloads stuff like 10000BC, Kung-fu panda, fantastic four I feel like hitting him with a iron rod :)). Anyway tastes differ. So were was I? Yes feel-good movies, I watched “Sleepless in Seattle” today. And liked It, my admiration grows for Tom hanks; be it the loner in castaway, or the naive Mr. Gump, or the brilliant Langdon unraveling the Da vinci code, Hanks is brilliant. And he proves that he is a master in romance (you've got mail was good too). I am not a sucker for romantic comedies and "Chick"-flicks (so the post title is now reasoned), but I like them. Pretentious, dreamy, formulatic but like sugar caught up under the tongue; they are swweet.

2)When you are reading this, i would have successfully completed my fourth week on bench. Take it from me getting bench is a curse disguised as a boon. At times when i get up in the morning and see people getting ready and leaving for office i feel totally lost. Who am I?, Where I am? What am I doing here? and it takes quite some time to accept the truth that I am jobless with a job. I have an office which I never visit, I have an id card which I never wear, I have colleagues whom I never meet, I get salary for the work I never do, I live in an illusion (Irruku aana illa!). The only means by which I connect to the corporate is by checking ma mails!. Mails from the HR regarding visit of a Gynecologist, mails from NSS regarding the resolving of critical outage in the metro cloud (Damn it!!), mails from workforce regarding opportunities in the US of A(romba mukkiyam!), and mails from old colleagues with title on the likes of-****Super hot still from MAXIM july***Be-careful-when-opening**** and it is these mails that console me. I get mails; therefore i am still a part of the company :).

3)We have been searching for a new house and my hate for these ugly-shameless-sick creatures is growing by the day. Guess who? who else THE BROKERS(read house brokers:)) the way they speak, the way they cheat it just raises my BP to boiling point. Usually I don’t loose my temper, but today i couldn't. I had an confront with one of them, which would have turned out into an ugly fight. And also the money they demand for an hour’s job, i believe is higher than Manmohan Singh's basic salary. One month of rent as commission is an unwritten law (3BHK, rent-16k so commission -16k…wtf?). When you question them they say " That‘s how things work here, You guys work for an IT company, you earn a lot, why cant you give us our due". Sick creatures, it's as if the IT people are indebted to each and everyone in Chennai. Be it the housemaid, the street vendor or the autowalas, everyone demands. I feel like yelling "Am I earning for you? Did you fund me when i was in college? “We work for a month all day and night, money doesn’t come from a vending tree, its hard earned money, many have commitments of supporting their families, my friends have tiring responsibilities, even some are the only source of belief for their families. And these creatures out there are desperate to suck every penny from our pockets. I feel sick. The other creatures are the house owners who treat Bachelors like untouchables. As if they were never in their bachelor-hood, as if they were born from the mothers womb when they were 40! "bachelor na veedu thara mudiyathunga, we prefer decent families" --"then marry me your daughter we will become a family" old-pricks!!!
A group of 8 men who look just like baby-eaters are desperately in need of a house (3B3BHK- 3bedroom3bathroom and a HK) near Velachery. Help greatly solicited.

4)When I started Amazwi, I wished to have a minimalist and readable layout. I wanted a Black and white theme as technically black gives an elegance, a depth and character to the brand. Also I love the mix of black white and grey. They are so simple yet so mystic. They mean a lot and I associate with these colors most of the time. And now I am changing the header, to the new 'two-lives" banner. It was philosophical, and there are the usual genuine looking African kids! So how bout you? do you like the new header?
{As Sridhar points out in the comment section the header portrays ambivalence or the coexistence within an individual of positive and negative feelings.}

5)And I don’t know how may of you went through the Dilbert widget. If no, do it now and i am sure you'll love it. I love Dilbert(Anyone who hates his/hers employer will love Dilbert)its fun, its intelligent, its the best satire of the corporate life!. Man I love Dogbert, he is the most admirable character I have ever read in a comic! The bosses, the colleagues, they are just the same everywhere!. It's universal and I seriously wish I could get into a company without the Pointy haired boss, the evil Catbert, or the lazy Wally. And if you are lost reading this or if you really are not aware of Dilbert then loser :( try this wiki link and get educated.Few favorite samples
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-0O0-

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PS: 1 Look at the time its nearly 4 in the morning(I live on US of A time schedule), Am i becoming an insomniac:)). A Sleepless-in-Chennai??!

PS: 2 "We work for a month all day and night, money doesn’t come from a vending tree, its hard earned money". Someone laughed. Agreed i am not eligible to say this; at least for the past month!! But i am sure change is not too far :)).
Happy reading!

Y tu mamá también

Sex.Now how many of us agree that it is, and it will be the very reason for our existence? How many of us approve it as a humane act? How many of us are comfortable discussing about it? How many of us have honest views about sex? How many of us act like it has nothing to do with our lives and our thinking? How many of you have already started making judgments about me? No I am not very comfortable discussing about sex. I am just one among you. But it was after watching this movie i felt we we Indians are not so honest, we have never made a movie which peels the skin and shows human emotions in its barest form. Alfonso Cuaron is a director whom I adore, his Children of Men redefined the science fiction genre. A friend of mine suggested a movie which is described as his masterpiece, Y tu mama tambien (English-And your mother, too) is a masterpiece which redefines our understanding about lust, desires and relationships.Made originally in Mexican, but when you listen keenly you can hear the universal voice of the human soul which is driven by the very need of sensuality.

Set in the modern day Mexico, it is the story of two young boys who are in their late teens and a women in her late twenties who go on a road trip across Mexico. Coming from different economic backgrounds Tenoch and Julio are two foolish adolescents on the verge of manhood who see women as commodities, and like all their counterparts across the universe they find themselves caught in the web of fantasies, it is their primary drive in life. It is when they meet Lusia an orphan, who is not-so-happily married to Tenoch's cousin. Mesmerized by her beauty they invite her to join them on a road trip to a imaginary beach called "Heavens mouth". She agrees. Not because she is foolish, she is numb with pain. Luisa is lonely, humiliated, abused and neglected, she is a testament to the suppressed woman community; mentally tortured by the chauvinistic husbands . She is aware of the intentions and implications but still agrees because she finds it as a way to escape from the cruel hands of life and a means to strike back at so called society.She agrees and together they start the journey, A journey which helps Luisa discover how clumsy, selfish, and dishonest men really are, a journey in which she tries to teach boys to treat a woman properly, a journey which will for the first time make her the master, and when the journey ends as viewers we discover the harsh realities behind men, women, friendships, bondings, relationships and on top of all sex.

The movie is very sexual in nature, but it is honest.There are explicit scenes but they are not glorified or romanticized. The scenes look obscene only if your intentions are so.The viewers are not made into intruders of privacy instead we are transformed into observers, when you see a 'something you actually observe something else. And the movie is not just about the adventures of three individuals, it is surprisingly funny most of the time, it has all the hip and peppy ingredients of a teen flick, as a road film parallely the director speaks about the poltical and economic strata of Mexico which they are driving through. Lead actors specially Maribel Verdu who played Luisa is very intense, and the expression in her eyes speaks about the struggle that she is into, she suffers from cancer which is revealed at the very end. And there is Gael Garcia Bernal as Julio ( I consider myself as his greatest fan on earth) with a performance of a lifetime. The cast is near perfect. The film mostly uses long takes, and there is a graceful silence that accompanies throughout. A pale brown colour pallete helps in revealing the dullness even if they are into the most disturbing of acts. Right from the beginning we can sense the seriousness and the genuine intentions of the movie, praised for being honest and unafraid of sexuality. Hyped as a "teen movie" for the arthouse crowd, it went to win golden palm at cannes and critical praise world over. As Roger Ebert my favourite critic says "Beneath the carefree road movie that the movie is, there is a more serious level--and below that, a dead serious level".

The movie as such is a behavioral study, and for sure the lessons learnt are a bit harsh. I doubt such movies will ever movies be made in India. Can we tolerate a character like Lusia, the name the society will give her is a whore or thaasi. All we need is cliched women with no real emotions who have no other job but to make men fall in love, dance around tress uncovering the belly buttons and showing some decolletage, SHAME. I believe nudity is far better than the obscenity that we see in our movies. I don't want to break my head speaking about the society.Anyway Y tu mama tambien will remain in my list of unforgettable movies- for a lifetime. As they say "cinema is truth 24 frames per second" Y tu mama tambien is meaningfull cinema at its most refined honest and barest form.

For more info visit
imdb- Y tu mama tambien
Alfonso Cuaron

Tagged!

My First tag:) by Uma, here is my take

6 Whatevers About me -

1) Born as the youngest son for two professors , brought up in the suburbs of Madurai, "attended" college at PSG tech Coimbatore, now "benched" at Cognizant Chennai.

2) A wannabe cinematographer, a wannabe journalist, a wannabe graphic designer, a wannabe normad, a reluctant S/W professional. Now wannabe an MBA, wannabe a writer, wannabe a filmmaker, wannabe a...

3) Crazy with friends and confused when alone!! Both my craziness and my confusion may annoy:). And ever proud about the friends i have.(even if they dont give a damn about this blog...:( )

4)I Love the company of good books and movies, I hate snoring to the core that Whenever i hear someone snoring, i always wished i had a gun :)

5)

6) An Introvert.A loner by choice.


5 Things i miss right now -

1) My room at my grandmas house, my cocoon during the college days. It was the place where i discovered the bibliophile, the graphic designer and the movie fanatic in me. I miss its privacy. I miss the tiled roofs. I miss the sun which played hide and seek through the small vents in the roof. I miss its warmth . I miss my cocoon.

2) My college life and the gang. "While they studied... we lived" was the caption(The godz gang03-07) .Missing the life we lived as the underdogs. Missing the days which were filled with fun, friends and zero responsibilities. A carefree life- a life with no worries, just fun fun fun.Its only after a year the reality hurts...College life is over for sure!!

3) My old project team.

4) Home made food sooooooooooo much.(or atleast good food for the sake of it)Take it from me its hard to survive only on parottas and kal-dosais. Atleast after 12 months!!

5) God how can i forget that. My past hairdo (b/w nov07-may08). I miss that E.T look it gave to me! And those of you who haven't heard the pathetic story of my long hair better read it here!!


10 Things I wanna achieve in a decade -

1) Ditch cognizant.Ditch IT.End up @ MICA or any other B-school which offers specialized courses related to marketing,communications and branding.Get a career, get a life. Earn enough for Survival.Make more revelations about myself.

2) Visit Cannes. Attend the Cannes film festival. Meet the best brains of creativity and share a cup of coffee.

3) Grow long hair once again and this time cut it for no reasons whatsoever.:)

4) Buy a car. (Now that has to happen within a year!!.. N for that i need to burgle a bank!!). Upgrade the car @ home with an Corolla.

5) Sponsor a child.

6) Read a looooooot of books of all different kinds. More of Tamil literature, i suck at it big time.(And i believe there is no use in reading international bestsellers if u have not read the best in your mother language)

7) Write screenplay for a movie.

8) Take out the entire family on a road trip.

9) Live at least two years in Europe or Africa. Meet new people. Meet new landscapes. Meet new challenges.Go to bed looking at the skyline in the middle of the African forest and Wake up looking at the snow capped mountains of the Alps.

10) Meet "her".

**************************************************************************************** 11)Having this idea for sometime now, To open an African restaurant chain in India, even had decided upon a name("Hottentots") and some marketing strategies. God if i had money i would do it today, given the lack of such themed restaurants and quality African food, i am sure i would be a runaway success. Partners with huge wallets are invited :)


The (Boring) book tag **-

**Pick up the nearest book.Open to page 123.Find the fifth sentence.Post the next three sentences.

"we have reached the end of our little mystery. You are welcome to put any questions that you like to me now and there is no danger that i will refuse to answer them"
As said by Sherlock homes in the book A Study in Scarlet by Sir Arthur Conon Doyle.



Now tag 5 people -

Aravindhan
Milinta
Sridhar
Umesh
Antony

Nightwatchman

In the sport of cricket, a nightwatchman is a is a lower-order batsman who's job is to maintain most of the strike until the close of play and so protect other, more capable batsmen from being out cheaply in what may be a period of tiredness or in poor light.And that is what exactly this post is doing for my Blog :)

[Scribbled on 13th June]
Imagine you got tonsillitis, and there is this freakin chilled bottle of coke placed in front of you, what would you do next?
a) Avoid it.
b) Drink it- let it aggravates your tonsils, a cruel pain develops in your throat, high fever and body ache can join in as supplements, you cant drink, eat or even speak, not to mention that you don't have the luxury to shave or bath :( - you soon dissipate a rotten smell and people leave you alone behind locked doors, all you got to eat will be a few slices of outdated milka bread and the rat-poison that your bachelor friend makes in the name of "rasam".

Given the options what will you choose? i am sure if you were evolved from homosapiens, you would choose a, but still i give you two more options
1)You gotta go to work next morning
2)You are BENCHED

So now you know what i chose! Yup it was 2.b (I was BENCHED so I Drank it) and that is the reason why i am suffering so much, it is cruelty at its very best! .

Sickness really makes you forget the world around you(not really!). Yesterday my temperature was at some 102 degrees with no more pills left, i just decided to sleep. Going to bed i was a bit compounded with thoughts, i mean really tormented thoughts. But as i felt the temperature was rising all these thoughts started to wither off from me, slowly i felt my mind was free of emotions it was kinda blank,i couldn't feel anything, as the suffering increases i felt all the earthly feelings soon left me like the feathers leaving a bird, i could see a bright white light just filling my thoughts, i was feeling something else, something more powerful, something more intriguing, i mean...... i could sense GOD!! Ya he was there amidst the light he was traversing towards me with a calm visage, and a divine smile, my sickness was my gateway to god, he was coming down and down towards me and i was like feeling the entire universe, it was so bright a white that it looked like heaven, he was so close to me, i was nearly floating, he gently caressed my hair and opened his mouth to say "SON..". It was then I heard my phone ringing somewhere in earth.

Me - Hello

Mr.X- Hello sir, this is pradeep calling on behalf of ABN AMRO bank regarding personal loan..

Me- Can i say somethin pradeep.....Please Go F***********************K yourself!


So now you know how my meeting with god ended! :(***********************************

PS: I know that was Baaaaad but still i gotta write something, for the past one week i wrote so much,that every time i read it i just cried or felt like hanging myself. This was the BEST of the LOT. There is this lesson that i learnt when you feel like shit, better write about shit!!


[15th June]
God i am still not out of this Writers-block [Shut up,, i can hear you laughing]. And for sure a bedridden week would not serve as a good inspiration. So do pray for me!!!

And Guys i saw this ad(old one though), going through the Cannes Lions website. I just have three words for it Wow.wOw.woW.
Its too funny, it registers the the brand in the minds of the viewers and also creates a visibility for the ad agency. what else do you expect. Please switch on your speakers.I was amazed watching this, how about you?

One from the heart

The room looks deserted, I am alone all by my own. There is nothing but the noisy swirl of the fan, and the nuggets of sunlight which pass in from the dusty corners of the window. The sun is trying to intrude into me like it has always done, the shiny mustard light, the heat and warmth accompanied by the little tears shed by the skin fill in my being, I sit here like a volcano of sweat. I have no regrets. A cup of tea may not be a good option, but still I feel like I need one. I get into the kitchen burn some water, the bag of green tea looks old but smells good, I add some sugar to the water, the boiling of the water conveys that it cant wait, and then the tea bag gets into the water, little by little it looses its virginity, dip in and dip out, the essence is spilt ,the lust between the water and the tea bag ends up in making me my cup of dark green tea, I take it by hand, sip it for taste. It isn’t too sweet nor too raw, looks perfect to me, and then I gulp it, gulp and gulp! A gentle heat generates within me and the pores do some overwork. I sweat like a monster but still I have no regrets, maybe a puff of cigarette would have graced the occasion but then I remember I don’t smoke.

I sit still, slowly and deeply i start feeling the sun. Like thousand of needles gently poking into the skin, the sun light touches me. I wish it tried to speak with me, tell me stories of evolution, stories of the earth, secrets about god, secrets about its earnest silence. But we both decide to enjoy the anonymity. Right from my early days sun has been my elixir, it has always accompanied my journey. As a kid i was allured by its charm, I used to stand hours beneath the scorching sun. The magical chemistry it performs deep inside the soul can’t be put in mere words. The warmth of the evening sun has the power to seduce whatever comes by its way. I remember the summer holidays at my grandma’s village, those were beautiful days. The village was filled with the sun, the farmland, the coconut grooves, the petty shops, the innocent faces, the ancient houses, all looked more beautiful under the gaze of the sun. In the summer sun light dawns an artist role and the ordinary village streets look better than the masterpiece of Da Vinci. Sun light is straight forward, it is honest, its discerning and it brings with it a lot of clarity, it is the best succor for humanity. I remember this poem i read some days back "காதல் பகலைப்போன்றதே! காமம் இரவைப்போன்றதே!"(Love is what the day is!, lust is what the night is!) and I couldn’t find any better explanation for love and lust.

I imagine about living a life like the lonely tree that stands atop the hill. Like a saint it goes through all the four seasons of Mother Nature. Winter, summer, autumn and spring all means the same to it, it has no complaints and it doesn’t go out carping. Its sagacity and indolence remind me of a lonely sage. If i am the tree, then this is my summer!. The season has filled a vacuum in me, the days are a bit dry, so is the living. But i have no regrets, this season too.. will pass by. The sun in these days has made me revisit the Mr.grey in me. I am in the middle of this fight between all my goodness and all my madness. The black and white in me converge with will full ferocity and I end up becoming an ocean filled with grey blood. The grayness makes me belong everywhere, to all the good and all the bad, to all of humanity and suddenly i feel like god.. And the age old question arises in me again. Where do I unbelong? is it to the breeze or the storm?, is it to the god or the devil? , is it to the wisdom or the reality?, is it to the love or the lust? is it to the loner or the lively ? , is it to the geek or the nerd ? , is it to the conscience or the convention? is it to the boy or to the man ? , is it to the ‘?’ or the ‘!’....

The sun is setting. the bright yellow is to be replaced by the blustering brown. My friend is retiring for the day, he has made me scribble all this. And at times i find the scribble is mystic with its meaningless patterns but still exploring in deep these scribbles make up the most of me, just like the art of modern times this scribble is void of hypocrisy, void of conventions and void of desires. What I write is what I want to be but, what I scribble is what I am. In a few moments from now my windows will be wide open, soon the air will be filled with the enigma of the song "shadow of the day”, soon the gentle evening breeze will caress me like an angel and soon I will be lost in sight of the retiring day and will be slowly sailing into the state of oblivion.

I Got to go! Bye.