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Thursday, May 29, 2008

Scribbled on a sleepless night!

I am getting no sleep.The entire room has just gone to bed and for the second day in a row i am not able to catch some sleep, i think my long night is jus gonna start.Yesterday was awful got up with sleepy eyes, had to walk miles under the scorching sun, was even deprived of good food, now got this headache which is breaking a side of my head. Its kinda annoying and I am totally lost, . I am not sure what am i gonna write but got no options either, have catch up with some writing till i catch some sleep. Hmm...Was reading this article on outlook early today, it was about more and more Indian women becoming regular drinkers. before i speak something about this lemme recall some sights which i got to see,

The first one is that i daily see in an eatery near my place, a gang of women who work for a BPO come out during their break hours, have a few cups of chai, lit some cigarettes, ignore all the pricky eyes, have fun and chat till the last puff - then get back to work, giving no damn to the so called society.

The next one is that i saw in a niche pub during a friends treat, We stags were not allowed to enter the dance floor but were given a chance to watch the "proceedings" from the 1st floor. And then i see this girl, she cames in just like the girl net door, after some amount of hesitation she takes up her drink, drinks, drinks and drinks. Sheds all her inhibitions, dances like an whore, does unimaginable things, finally pukes and collapses in front of all those weary eyes.

I dunno what is the problem with these drinking and smoking women, she is always so obsessed in getting herself in to the man's shoe. She always has this question "When he can do,why not me?" , She wants to prove that when a man can smoke in public so can i, when a man has no problem drinking so do i. She doesn't want to be girly anymore, prefers being a male incarnation. I hope the years have suppression has made her hit back hard. But how does she do it? she is not satisfied with the empowerment that she gets from her work nor the economic freedom that she has attained out of it. She wants to enter into all the ugly dark areas that men have been to, she thereby follows him into the bar, follows him for smoking some grass, thereby following him all the time idolizing his grey acts and again becoming his slave this time even without her knowledge. She is always into this act of proving her poweress to him thereby making him the master to approve it!!. This is not freedom, this is dependency which has disguised itself in the name of freedom.Why are these women so obsessed in imitating men and their counterparts of the west, why don't they be the same empowered and free thinking women with Indian sensibilities? now I had always believed that i hold no rights to advice a woman on what to drink or how to behave but, if i still sound like a male chauvinistic pig then call me one.

Blame it on the media, drinking is no more a taboo for the urban Indian, if u don't drink you are not so "cool", if u don't drink you are a nerd, if u don't drink and party you are a loser!!! You find surrogate ads running for all kinda drinks(IPL- RCB!). If u really wanna have a good time, you can not do it without a mug of beer!!,These is no reason to be alive if you are not in a pub on a Saturday night. All these rules formed by the weaker drinking population is now slowly taking the center stage!! When smoking and drinking is bad even for pigs and donkeys, why do it?(Guys i am no Buddha, i had done these before but not anymore). And for the woman drinkers - i believe a man 's ultimate search ends with finding the motherhood or the woman in him, but the reverse may not hold true!!! Ok guys enough of punch - dialogues. I am equally bored as you are.lemme get some sleep.If you have something to say please use the comment section.

Added sometime later 7:26pm PS: I read the post again, i think i was very generic and a bit rude, should have used a more subtler tone,but remember i was in no good mood(+headache) and i wrote what i felt. I aint gonna edit the post coz i believe in what i have written. Also be sure that when i use the word 'she' i am not generalizing the woman community as a whole!! Do check the comments there is an interesting discussion underway.


Anonymous said...

Best of the lot! Hats off

‘lemme’ comment here..

Women spend all the time proving men they r equal, if not better.

And once she starts proving, the man chuckles to say ‘That was a great show!’

The woman feels empowered! proud!! stupid!!!

Verdict: Women don’t look stupid, cos they ‘take’ freedom.

Wat say?.


sneha said...

first of all what makes you think girls are drinking to imitate men or get into their shoes?? why cant you be a little broad minded and stop this comparison between guys and girls.. if what you re saying is true then men must be really stupid to have started drinking ages ago.. look at it this way.. girls need to have fun too.. its cos people like you write blogs when a women drinks n make it such a big deal that the "taboo" tag has been attached.. so as far as drinking and smoking are concerned.. we are ruining OUR lives.. so let us be..

Vignesh.r(edux) said...

@ sneha

So u mean
1)Drinking is fun
2)Women Drink for their share of fun.

Read the post again i am not just against drinking woman , i am against drinking men, i am against this social evil which has made drinking an acceptable crime.

3) men started it ages ago and then women followed
4) we are ruining OUR lives.. so let us be..

from your very own words i infer that men started this evil of drinking and then women follwed by!
And u come back to square one asking the question "When you enoyed it for so many years, why stop us?" .

You wan me to be a little more broadminded!!... I ask you the same favour. Don always live with the attitude that whatever a man says he says it to supress!!try to hear the voices of concern

If u still think i was stupid, you are entitled to have your own view.But just be informed that I dont give a damn!!!

Vignesh.r(edux) said...

@ anto

U know what they call a man or a woman who dont drink @ a party...MORALISTIC TIGHTASS!!Blame it on the society.

Proud are those who have all the freedom to drink and smoke, but still stay away from them!!

So salutes antony, salutes for the non-drinkers!!

Anonymous said...

I have certain open thoughts on this issue da.

I abide by the point that men and women shudnt be compared. Its like comparing apple with oranges. Agreed.

But its they who wanted them to be equally treated. I really don’t understand the term ‘equally’ here.

Men and women are masters in their own ways/fields. Men don’t poke their nose into women’s territory.

And so does he expect (pls note, it is expect not order) from the fairer sex.

Men are physically strong. So they tend to work outside.

Women tend to be soft, which makes them the natural choice for household works and baby caring.

When women start feeling what they do is inferior, they get into the clown’s shoes and start ‘taking’ freedom.

And men who r in no way superior start ‘granting’ freedom.

Intha ponnunga muttala illa namma muttalannu purinjikave mudiyala…

Enna solre?


Vignesh.r(edux) said...


yup agreed i shld have never compared woman and men.They are two different entities, but i am concerned that a few rotten apples and oranges may spoil the basket.

@ everyone

please if u can get a copy of outlook(27may)... u can find the reasons for my concern.there is this dangerous pattern and attitude of drinking devoloping amongst the urban women and men.

"We indians dont drink for fun, we drink to get drunk".I totally emphasise with this.Dont look at the ferocity of my words, if u can just try to find some hidden truth in my words, that will serve a purpose!!

My Musings said...

scribbled on a sleepless night.

I wouldn’t call you a male chauvinistic pig, It was jus a concern, a fatherly concern ( at least to me it sounds so). More for sure, a good Samaritan’s view. Just reminded of Jeyakanthan, if you’ve read sila nerangalil sila manithargal and Gangai enge pogiraal. You ‘ll certainly know what I mean by this.

When he wrote SNSM, he was heavily commented, abused n everything, his only comment was, “Neenga gangava gangava pakaringa, naan avale en ponna paakaren, unga ponnuku eppadi nadhunthu irundha ippadi pesuvingala.” Vignesh read Agni Prevasam, his short story. I do have the translated version. I’ll send you.

Sila samyamgalil JK padiikum pothu, Serupala adicha madhiri irukkum, mela padiga mudiyathu, naan ethana samayangalil evalu kevalama irundhu iruken yosiken podhu, thaanga mudiyathu, enake naan rumba aruveruupa irupenn. JK grew on me, It was a painful growth, there was a deafening silence in me. I loved the pain and I wanted to inflict more on me. And I mainly read such works, For I greatly believe in the words of my English teacher Dr(Mrs) Jayathasri Balakrishnan, “Pain is the process of healing.”

Coming back,

“Gulp it baby, gulp it,” Ganga athula kudipa, karnam irukadhu, nayapadithika ava virumbala, a girl doesn’t lose her/ head or her dignity, jus because she smokes, drinks or get laid. Its just the society that does all this shit. I don give a damn shit to what the society talks about me/behind me. Sorry for my language, that’s what Jk did to me. “Naan seivadhu en varaikkum seriye” what I do is The right thing for me. It need be a right or wrong for you or others.
And who the hell are we to comment on others life and to decide what’s good or bad for them.

I honestly dunno how u will take this, Tell you something this is what I believe in. I don advocate anything, just felt like telling you this, ever since I started reading great people like JK, people feel I had been very different and indifferent to them. So this just a word of caution. Pardon me for this. ( for I greatly believe in words, They’re powerful monsters, they either make or mar.) Ayyan Valluvan bashayil, eniya ullavaga innadha kural kanni irupa kaikavarnthatru

And also buddy, am in a central university, I happen to meet the most eccentric of eccentric people there( me being one too) I do know a good no of people who smoke, drink, and into stuff like pot, grass, weed, joints, drugs, n hooka n every crap.. initially I didn’t have a good opinion on them. When I get to know them. Something hurt me somewhere. They’re really good, intellectuals, sometimes too good to be true. I don’t smoke/ drink. Had those curiosity, and adopted ma good friend as ma smoke guru, he simply said that its not in me to be a smoker, my dad being one smoker still and ma brother once…

I do give company to ma buddies who booze to share side-dish n I learnt that they don’t appreciate the idea of sharing side-dishes with non-boozers. And once /twice, was on all ma fours cleaning up You Know What…

Well some do it as fun, Some in an illusion of taking revenge on something/somebody. People are at their true best when they’re high on booze. Don have a doubt now @ me considering the length of the mail and the time.Wink ;) May be I sound like I don mind women /men smoking or I encourage them/ I defend the smokers n boozers irrespective of their gender. No I don’t, but if I’ve to, I wouldn’t mind defending too. And certainly I wouldn’t offend them/let them be offended.

Sometimes I see shades of those entire literary figures in them/shades of JK, RKN, Bharathy and also true humanitarians in them than the so called decent citizens. Once when I met Jayakanthan in Cbe, I asked him telling all this, “En evangu ellam ippadi irukaanga?” he simply answered,” Eppadiachum irukanganu santhosa padu, ethavida kevalama pogaliyenu.” I didn’t understand his words, Then it dawned on me what he truly meant by that.

Egapathini ramanala Seedhai santhegam mattume pada mudinjadhu, aannal Krishnan dhaan Thudithudichu pona ponnuku selai koduthu kaapatha mudinjachadhu, ella thillumullum theringavanuku thaan Bhagavad Githaiyum arula mudinjadhu.

As I said earlier I can see a good Samaritan in this post. @ times the cloak of a Samaritan strangles him alive. Watch out!

Endha Vazhkai Saakshi Bhavame..

A very thoughtful post.. I can understand and associate with ur thoughts. Happy to know that someone out thinking on similar lines. Tell you something, Absolutely in love with your words… CHEERS!!!!

Vignesh said...

first i would like to say that(as i had mentioned in the post) i was not in great form when i wrote it. and maybe i didnot do justice for the real feeling that i had in my mind. I wrote all the clouds of ideas that went through. And i dont regret it and i din wanna modify it . I know that ppl 9esp women) find that post difficult to digest but as u pointed out it was written out of concern. and it takes ppl like u to read between the lines.

Coming to SNSM.These girls who smke and drink are not Ganga by any chance, many men and women smoke and drink just for attitude(i knew them deeply coz i have been with them 4 yrs). Even in SNSM ganga follows prabhu..... and i ganga smokes and drinks coz she has underwent soooo much. But how about these girls?? i am a pessimist when it comes to the society macha i agree with ur words and with JKs views, but all this artificiallity makes me go mad!!!.

I feel ashamed of being a man, in a way we destroy the feminity in the opposite sex (jus like prabhu dis0 we may not be assaulting them with our hands , but with our looks, attitudes and our drives. i know ppl who introduce girls to drinking. And even had a friend? who sold ganja nad heroin to them exchange for sex!!,and it is he who drives her and she follows him madly!! when i hear stories of filth and scum i cant control myself and that comes out as writing... it was written out coz of my love for women and hate 4 men.

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